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Q:

What are some ways to encourage a positive relationship between my adopted or foster child and their biological family?

Hi everyone,

I am an adoptive parent of a child who has a biological family that they still have some contact with. I really want to promote a positive relationship between my child and their biological family. I believe that maintaining a connection with biological family members can have a positive impact on the child's well-being and sense of identity. However, I am unsure about how to go about encouraging this relationship.

Has anyone had experience with this? What are some ways that I can promote a positive relationship between my child and their biological family? How often should the contact be? And what kind of activities would be appropriate to do together? Any tips or personal experiences would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!

All Replies

dina.abshire

Hello,

I am a biological parent who gave up my child for adoption many years ago, and I have recently reconnected with my child and their adoptive family. The process of reconnecting has not always been easy, but I have learned some valuable lessons along the way.

One of the most important things I have learned is the importance of honesty and forgiveness. I had to be honest with both my child and their adoptive family about why I made the decision to give up my child for adoption, and ask for their forgiveness for any pain or hurt that I may have caused them.

Another key factor was establishing trust with the adoptive family. I had to demonstrate that I respected their role in my child's life and had my child's best interests at heart. I also had to be patient, understanding that it might take time for everyone to feel comfortable in this new relationship.

We have found that having regular communication has been helpful in maintaining a positive relationship. We communicate through phone calls, text messages, and visits. It is important to note that the frequency of contact was based on what was comfortable for all parties involved.

Overall, I have found that the keys to promoting a positive relationship between a biological parent and their adoptive child and family are honesty, forgiveness, patience, and trust. By working together and prioritizing the well-being of the child, we can build a strong and positive relationship that lasts a lifetime.

orion19

Hi there,

I can relate to your situation as I also have an adopted child who has some contact with their biological family. One thing that has worked really well for us in promoting a positive relationship is making sure that communication is open and honest between all parties involved. When my child has visits with their biological family, we make sure to communicate beforehand what the plans are for the visit, and we also debrief afterwards to make sure that any questions or concerns are addressed.

In terms of how often the contact should be, I think it's important to find a schedule that works for both your family and the biological family. For us, we have visits every few months, but it really depends on the specific circumstances of your situation.

As for activities to do together, we have found that it's helpful to plan activities that everyone can enjoy and that are age-appropriate for the child. For example, we have done outings to the park, gone for ice cream, or gone to the movies. It's important to find activities that everyone is comfortable with and that allow for bonding and connection.

Overall, I think the key to promoting a positive relationship is to always prioritize the best interests of the child and to communicate openly and honestly with all parties involved. It's not always easy, but with commitment and patience, I believe that it's possible to create a strong and positive relationship with the biological family.

carmel.schmeler

Hi there,

I am also a foster parent and have some experience in fostering a positive relationship between a foster child and their biological family. One thing that has worked for me is to make sure that there is consistency and continuity in the contact and visits between the child and their family.

In my case, we established a schedule for visits, which was shared with both the child and their biological family. This helped to create a sense of stability and routine, which was beneficial for everyone involved. Over time, the child began to look forward to the visits and started to develop stronger bonds with their family.

In terms of activities, we also try to plan outings that are enjoyable for both the child and their biological family. Going out to eat, visiting a local park, or participating in a fun activity together can all be great options. Additionally, we found it helpful to involve the child in the planning process, as this helped to foster a sense of agency and empowerment.

Lastly, I believe that it's important to be respectful of the child's boundaries and wishes. While we want to encourage a positive relationship with their biological family, we also need to respect their feelings and opinions. Encouraging open communication and keeping an open mind can go a long way in creating a healthy relationship for all involved.

Overall, promoting a positive relationship between a foster child and their biological family can be challenging, but it is worth it. By staying committed, creating routines, and respecting boundaries, we can help to create a loving and supportive network for the child.

pabbott

Hello everyone,

I am a biological parent whose child was recently adopted into a loving and caring family. Even though my child is living with their adoptive family now, I still want to maintain a positive relationship with them because I believe it's important for my child's overall well-being.

To encourage this positive relationship, I try to stay involved in their life by keeping in touch with their adoptive family. I send them updates about our family and ask how my child is doing in school or at home. I also make it a point to be clear that I fully support their adoptive family and want what's best for my child.

Whenever there is an opportunity for my child to visit or spend time with us, I make sure that it's an enjoyable experience for everyone involved. We take the time to plan activities that my child likes and make sure that there are no conflicts with their adoptive family's schedule.

Lastly, I think it's important to communicate honestly and openly with the adoptive family. This means being transparent about any changes in our family situation or in my child's needs. When we work together, we can provide the best possible support for my child.

In summary, as a biological parent, it's important to stay involved in the life of my child even after they have been adopted. By communicating openly and honestly and staying committed to a positive relationship, we can help our child to feel supported and loved no matter where they are living.

trisha.paucek

Hey,

I am a foster parent, and I am currently fostering a child who has some contact with their biological family. In order to promote a healthy relationship between them, I make it a point to treat their biological family with respect, regardless of the circumstances that led to my child being in foster care.

In my experience, it's important to have open and honest communication with the biological family, and to work collaboratively with them towards the best interests of the child. I make sure to always keep them informed about the child's progress and to involve them in any decisions that affect the child's well-being.

In terms of activities, we try to plan age-appropriate outings that everyone can enjoy. We have gone to the beach, the zoo, and even celebrated holidays together. I think it's important to find activities that foster a sense of connection and family, and that allow for positive memories to be created.

Lastly, I believe it's important to maintain healthy boundaries for the child's sake. While we encourage contact between our foster child and their biological family, we also make sure to prioritize their safety and well-being at all times.


Overall, promoting a positive relationship between an adopted/foster child and their biological family takes commitment, patience, and open communication. Building a relationship of trust and respect can benefit everyone involved, especially the child.

jerald46

Hello,

I am a social worker who has worked with adoptive and foster families for several years. In my experience, one of the best ways to encourage a positive relationship between a child and their biological family is to set clear boundaries and expectations.

It's important to have open communication with both the adoptive/foster family and the biological family. Each family should be aware of what is expected of them, what the boundaries are, and what the overall goals are for maintaining this relationship. In some cases, this may involve working with a professional to establish a formal agreement or parenting plan that clearly outlines each family's role and responsibilities.

In terms of contact, it's important to be consistent while also considering what is best for the child. This may mean weekly phone calls or emails, or it may mean more frequent or less frequent visits. It's important to stay flexible and adjust the frequency of contact based on the needs and preferences of the child and both families.

Finally, it's important to support the child in understanding and processing their feelings about their biological family. As a social worker, I often work with families to help children understand the reasons behind their separation from their biological family and to help them process any complicated emotions that they may be experiencing.

In conclusion, promoting a positive relationship between a child and their biological family requires clear boundaries, open communication, and a willingness to be flexible based on the needs of the child. With the right support, it is possible to create a healthy and positive relationship that benefits everyone involved.

wilderman.rigoberto

Hello everyone,

As an adopted child who has maintained a positive relationship with both my biological and adoptive families, I believe that open communication and mutual respect are crucial in fostering a healthy relationship.

In my case, my adoptive family was always open and supportive towards my desire to maintain a relationship with my biological family. They were never jealous or possessive of my time or affection, which helped me to feel secure and loved in both my families. It's important for adoptive families to recognize that an adopted child's desire to maintain a relationship with their biological family does not diminish their love for their adoptive family.

Another important factor in fostering a positive relationship is clear and regular communication between all parties. When everyone is open and honest about their thoughts and feelings, misunderstandings and resentments can be avoided. Clear boundaries and expectations should also be established, so that everyone understands what their role is.

In terms of activities, we found that it was helpful to do things that were enjoyable and age-appropriate for everyone involved. Going to the park, having a meal together, or going to a movie were all things that we enjoyed doing. It's also important to make sure that the child is involved in the planning process and feels heard and valued.

Lastly, I believe that emotional support is important for both the adopted child and their biological family. Adoption can be a complex and emotional process, and it's important to have a support system in place that can help navigate these feelings.

Overall, maintaining a positive relationship between adopted and biological families takes patience, understanding, and a willingness to work together. By prioritizing the child's needs and establishing clear communication and boundaries, we can help create a supportive and loving network of people that benefits everyone involved.

emery.batz

Hi everyone,

As a former foster child who has maintained a positive relationship with my biological family, I believe that one of the key factors in fostering this kind of relationship is understanding and empathy on both sides.

For me, it was important that my foster family understood that my biological family would always be a part of my life, and that they supported that relationship. At the same time, my biological family respected my foster family and the important role they played in my life. They understood that the goal of foster care was to create a stable and loving environment for me while keeping me connected to my roots.

In terms of activities, we would have regular phone calls and visits where we would spend time doing things we loved, like going out to eat, watching movies or playing games together. It was also important for both families to communicate openly and regularly to ensure that we were all on the same page about my care and well-being.

I think the most important thing is to keep the focus on the child's needs and to respect their feelings and desires. Both families need to maintain a positive relationship for the sake of the child, and that requires open communication, mutual respect, and understanding.

Overall, fostering a positive relationship between a child and their biological family requires patience, commitment, and a willingness to work together. By putting the child's needs first and creating a supportive network of caring adults, we can help children who have experienced loss and trauma to feel loved, supported, and connected to those who are important to them.

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