Loading Kindness - Spinning Up Mommy Magic

While the Love Loads, Our Spinner Spins. Get Ready to Share, Support, and Bond with Like-minded Moms!

Popular Searches:

What are some ways to discipline my child without shaming or humiliating them?

Hi everyone,

I am a parent of a four-year-old child and I am having trouble disciplining them without shaming or humiliating them. My child has been acting out recently and I feel the need to discipline them but I don't want to do it in a way that will hurt their self-esteem or make them feel ashamed.

I want to set boundaries and teach them right from wrong but I need some advice on how to do it in a way that is respectful and will not embarrass them. I have tried talking to them calmly but it doesn't seem to work, so I am open to suggestions on what I can do to effectively discipline my child without making them feel bad.

Thank you in advance for your help!

All Replies


Hi everyone,

In my experience, using positive discipline techniques is an effective way of disciplining children without shaming or humiliating them. Positive discipline focuses on creating a loving and respectful relationship between the parent and child while still maintaining boundaries.

One technique that has worked for me is redirection. When my children engage in negative behavior, I redirect them to a more appropriate activity. For example, if my child is throwing toys around the room, I would redirect them to a puzzle or an art activity.

Another effective technique I use is natural consequences. Rather than punishing my children for their actions, I allow them to experience the natural consequences. This teaches them valuable lessons without making them feel humiliated or ashamed. For instance, if my child forgets their lunch at home, they would experience hunger in school, which would teach them the importance of being responsible.

Lastly, setting clear and consistent consequences for negative behavior is crucial. It's essential to set expectations for positive behavior and consequences for negative behavior. This approach helps children to learn what is acceptable behavior and what is not without feeling judged or humiliated.

In summary, positive discipline is all about modeling positive behavior, building a loving and respectful relationship with your child, and providing them with opportunities to learn from experiencing natural consequences in a positive way. I hope my experience helps!



I am a parent of a teenager and have found that approaching my child with respect and empathy goes a long way in disciplining without shaming or humiliating them.

I try to listen to my child and communicate with them in a way that acknowledges their feelings while also addressing the issue at hand. Instead of telling them what to do, I ask them what they think would be a fair consequence for their actions. This shows that I value their input and encourages them to take responsibility for their behavior.

I also try to stay calm and avoid raising my voice or using aggressive body language. This helps to de-escalate the situation and can communicate to my child that they are not being attacked, but instead, we are working together to address the problem.

Lastly, I try to use positive reinforcement as much as possible. Instead of only correcting my child's mistakes, I also make sure to acknowledge and praise them when they do something good. This helps to build their confidence and self-esteem while also motivating them to continue making good decisions.

Overall, disciplining without shaming or humiliating a child requires patience, communication, and a willingness to work together. I hope these tips are helpful to you!


Hi there!

I completely understand your concern as I have gone through the same situation with my child. When my child was younger, I found that traditional forms of discipline such as spanking or yelling only made the situation worse and damaged our relationship.

As an alternative, I started focusing on setting clear boundaries and consequences for their actions. For example, I would explain to them why their behavior was inappropriate and then give them a chance to take responsibility for it - either by apologizing or making amends.

I also found that using positive reinforcement when they did something good helped to encourage positive behavior. Praise and rewards such as stickers, extra playtime, or a special treat can go a long way in motivating a child to continue on a good path.

Above all, I think the most important thing is to try and stay calm and not let your own emotions take over. As parents, our ultimate goal is to help our children learn and grow, and discipline is just one aspect of that. Good luck!


Hi there,

I have been a parent for some time now and I have had to deal with disciplining my children on several occasions. One of the things I learnt early on was that discipline is not just about punishment but about teaching as well.

I found that taking some time to talk with my child about what they did wrong, listening to them and understanding why they acted out in a certain manner can go a long way in preventing future occurrences. By doing this, my child felt heard and learned a valuable lesson from the experience.

Additionally, I also found that it was important to choose discipline methods that suit my child's temperament. Every child is different and one size does not fit all. For example, for some children, taking away a favorite toy or activity can be a suitable punishment, while for others, a simple apology and conversation can be enough.

Finally, I also learned the importance of consistency in discipline. Consistency in setting rules, applying discipline when they are broken, and following through on the appropriate consequences help children to learn the importance of adhering to rules and boundaries.

I hope these tips help you as you navigate disciplining your child!


Hello everyone,

As a parent of two children, I have found that it's essential to involve my children in the discipline process to avoid shaming or humiliating them. My approach with my children has been to help them understand the effects of their actions by allowing them to experience the consequences.

For instance, if my child forgets his homework, I do not immediately fix the problem; instead, I'd let him take the consequences at school, maybe a lower grade or detention, and work with him to develop a plan to ensure it never happens again. I believe this approach is essential, as it makes children responsible for their actions and shows them that there are consequences to their choices.

Another technique that has worked for me is to use "I" statements instead of "you" statements. It's essential to convey how I feel about my child's actions by focusing on my emotions instead of attacking or shaming them. This approach makes them realize the impact of their behavior on others, making them more empathetic and respectful.

Lastly, it's vital to teach children how to solve problems instead of just punishing them. Instead of telling them what they did wrong, we can provide them with tools and strategies to help them make better decisions. This approach helps children to learn from their mistakes and become more independent and responsible.

I hope sharing these tips has been helpful, and remember that every child is unique, what works for mine might not always work for yours, so it's important to find what works best for your child's needs.

New to Kind Mommy Community?

Join the community