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Q:

What are some ways to create a sense of stability and consistency in a blended family, especially if there are frequent changes in custody or visitation schedules?

Hello everyone,

I am a single parent who recently got married to my partner, who also has children from a previous marriage. Our blended family has been quite challenging, especially due to the frequent changes in custody and visitation schedules. It has been tough for everyone to keep up with the changes, and this has led to a sense of instability in our home.

I would like to know how other blended families have dealt with similar situations and what strategies they have used to create a sense of stability and consistency. It is important to me that all our children feel secure and supported, even when there are changes in the family dynamic.

Thank you for any advice or tips you can provide.

All Replies

cdaniel

Greetings,

As someone who has been a part of a blended family, I know that creating a sense of stability and consistency can be extremely challenging, especially when custody and visitation schedules are frequently changing. In my experience, it was important to establish a routine that everyone could rely on, even if the family dynamic changed from week to week.

One way my family achieved this was by having designated days for certain activities, like meal planning or family outings. This way, even if the children weren't with us, they could still anticipate what our family would be doing on those designated days.

It was also important for everyone to respect each other's boundaries and privacy. For example, each child had their own space in the house where they could retreat to if they needed some alone time. We made it a rule that we wouldn't go into each other's rooms without permission, so everyone felt that they had their own space to call their own.

Finally, open and frequent communication is key in any relationships, but especially in blended families. We established regular family meetings where we could discuss family business, check in on how everyone is doing, and discuss any upcoming changes to our routine. These meetings provided an opportunity to reiterate that while things may change and we may have our own unique challenges, we are all in this together.

I hope my experience can provide some insights that help you and your family establish a sense of stability and consistency in your blended family.

wblanda

Hi there,

I am also a member of a blended family, so I can definitely relate to your concerns. One thing that has helped us create a sense of stability is having a consistent family routine. This means we do things like meal times, bedtimes, and family outings on a regular schedule, regardless of who is with us at the time. It provides a sense of structure and familiarity for everyone.

We have also found it helpful to communicate frequently about upcoming changes in custody or visitation schedules. It helps us all stay on the same page and be prepared for any adjustments we may need to make to our routine.

Another thing that has worked well for us is making sure each child has their own space and belongings in our home, regardless of how often they are with us. It sends a message that they are always welcome and valued members of our family.

Lastly, we try our best to make sure our children know that even though there are changes in the family dynamic, our love and support for each other never changes.

I hope these tips are helpful for you and your blended family!

lea11

Hi,

I completely understand where you are coming from. My blended family has been dealing with a lot of changes in custody and visitation schedules as well, and it can be tough to maintain a sense of stability and consistency.

What has worked well for us is to have clear expectations and rules that everyone agrees to follow. We hold regular family meetings to discuss any concerns or issues and to make decisions together as a family. This helps us all feel like we have a voice in our family's decisions, and it gives us a sense of ownership over our family dynamic.

Another thing that has been helpful for us is to be respectful of everyone's individual needs and preferences. We make sure that each child has the opportunity to spend time alone with their parent when they are with us, and we respect each other's boundaries and preferences for how we spend our time together.

Finally, we try to maintain a positive outlook and focus on the things that unite us as a family. We make an effort to have fun and create happy memories together, and we try to celebrate each other's successes and milestones.

I hope these tips are helpful for you and your blended family. Remember that each family is different, so it's important to find what works best for you and your loved ones.

jody.flatley

Hello all,

I have been a part of a blended family for a few years now, and I know firsthand how challenging it can be to create stability and consistency, especially when there are frequent changes in custody and visitation schedules. For my family, we found that prioritizing the relationships between the co-parents and stepparents helped us create a united front to provide a safe and orderly space for our children.

One thing that really helped our family was having a shared calendar accessible to everyone, where we could communicate any upcoming events or changes in the schedule. We found that this helped us avoid feelings of being left out and reinforced trust and a sense of order.

We also make an effort to celebrate each child's interests, milestones, and passions equally. For instance, we organize events that allow all the children to engage in shared hobbies they are excited about. This gives them an environment where they can be acknowledged and appreciated equally, without feeling excluded.

Finally, we prioritize having fun and enjoying each other's company as a family. Our family often engages in shared activities, such as playing backyard games or cooking special meals, which provides us with an opportunity to bond and create new memories that all the kids can hold onto.

I wish you the best of luck in your blended family setting, and I hope that these suggestions can help you in some way!

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