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Q:

What are some tips for building trust with an adopted or foster child?

Hi everyone,

I recently became a foster parent and I'm struggling to build trust with my foster child. It's been a few months since the child moved in with us, but they still seem distant and closed off. I want to create a safe and nurturing environment for them, but I'm not sure how to go about it.

Can anyone share some tips or experiences on how to build trust with an adopted or foster child? What are some strategies that have worked for you in the past? I want to make sure I'm doing everything I can to help the child feel comfortable and secure in our home.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

All Replies

nmaggio

Hi there,

I was also a foster parent and building trust with my foster child was a challenge in the beginning. One of the strategies that helped me was to consistently show up for the child, both physically and emotionally. I made sure to attend all their appointments and school events, and also spent quality time with them at home.

Another thing that worked for me was being patient and understanding. I tried to put myself in their shoes and imagine what they might have gone through, and I made sure to listen to them when they wanted to share their feelings or experiences.

Additionally, I found that doing things together, such as cooking or playing games, helped create a sense of bonding and connection. I made sure to include the child in household tasks and decision-making, and also praised them for their efforts and accomplishments.

Overall, building trust with an adopted or foster child takes time and effort, but it's worth it in the end. It's important to be consistent, patient, understanding, and to always show up for the child. Good luck on your journey!

andrew.daugherty

Hello,

I have experience as an adoptive parent, and I found that building trust with my child required a lot of patience and consistency. Adopted children may have experienced trauma or instability in their early life, so it's important to be prepared to work through any challenges that arise.

One of the things that helped us build trust was to establish a routine and provide a structured environment. We made sure to have consistent mealtimes, bedtimes, and other routines, which helped our child feel more settled and secure.

Another key strategy was to be honest and transparent about our feelings and intentions. We didn't want to create any confusion or miscommunication, so we made sure to communicate as openly and honestly as possible, and to follow through on any commitments or promises we made.

We also tried to validate our child's feelings and experiences, even if we couldn't always relate to or understand them. We made sure to listen actively and respond with empathy and compassion, and to create a safe space where our child could share their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment.

Finally, we tried to create a sense of fun and enjoyment in our home. We went on outings, played games, and pursued hobbies and interests together, which helped our child feel more connected to us and to the family.

Overall, building trust with an adopted or foster child takes time and effort, but it's worth it in the end. By establishing routines, communicating openly and honestly, validating your child's feelings and experiences, and creating a sense of fun and enjoyment, you can help your child feel more comfortable and secure in their new home.

gregoria37

Hello,

In my experience as a foster parent, building trust with my foster child required understanding and respecting their unique needs and challenges. Every child is different, and some may need more time and space than others to feel comfortable and safe.

One of the strategies that worked for me was to be an active and engaged listener. I tried to really tune in and pay attention to my foster child's verbal and non-verbal cues, and respond in a way that let them know I was listening and valuing their perspective.

I also made sure to create a sense of teamwork and collaboration, rather than a power dynamic where I was in charge and they had to follow my rules. We worked together to establish boundaries and rules, and I made sure to follow through on any promises or commitments I made.

Another thing that helped build trust was to be supportive and non-judgmental. I tried to create a safe space where my foster child could share their thoughts and feelings without fear of criticism or punishment. This helped them feel more comfortable opening up and being vulnerable with me.

Overall, building trust with an adopted or foster child is a process that requires patience, empathy, and understanding. By being an active listener, working collaboratively to establish boundaries and rules, and providing a safe and supportive environment, you can help your child feel more comfortable and secure in their new home.

irving.becker

Hello,

From my experience as an adoptive parent, building trust with my child required a lot of empathy and affection. I tried to communicate as much warmth and compassion as possible, through hugs, kisses, and kind words.

However, I also made sure to respect their boundaries and give them space when needed. I didn't want to overwhelm them with too much attention or affection, so I made sure to give them room to breathe and process things at their own pace.

Another strategy that helped me was to establish a routine and provide a stable and predictable environment. I tried to make sure that meals, bedtime, and other activities were consistent and happened at the same time every day, as this helped my child feel more secure.

Finally, I made sure to be honest and transparent with my child, particularly about their adoption story. I answered their questions as truthfully as possible and didn't try to hide any details or brush things under the rug. I wanted them to feel that they could trust me to be honest with them.

Building trust with an adopted or foster child can be difficult, but it's important to be patient, empathetic, and consistent. By providing a nurturing and stable environment, communicating affection and respect, and being honest and transparent, you can help your child feel more comfortable and secure in their new home.

isabell.kozey

Hello,

As a foster parent, I have found that building trust with a foster child requires patience, consistency, and a whole lot of love. It's important to remember that these children may have experienced a great deal of loss and trauma, and earning their trust may take some time.

One strategy that helped me build trust with my foster child was to be fully present when we were together. Whenever we would spend time together, whether it was doing homework or playing a game, I would make sure that I was fully focused on them and not distracted by anything else.

Another thing that helped was to be proactive about meeting their needs. I would try to anticipate their needs as much as possible and preemptively address them before they could become major issues. This helped my foster child feel more secure and trusting towards me.

It was also important for me to create a sense of stability in our home. I made sure to establish rules and boundaries and stick to those consistently, which helped my foster child feel more secure and know what to expect.

Finally, one of the things that helped me build trust with my foster child was to be patient and understanding. There may be times when a child's behavior or attitude doesn't make sense, but it's important to be patient and try to understand where they're coming from.

Overall, building trust with an adopted or foster child takes time and effort, but it's worth it in the end. By being fully present, proactive about their needs, creating stability and boundaries, and being patient and understanding, you can help your child feel more comfortable and secure in their new home.

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