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Q:

What are some effective ways to handle conflicts with my preteen?

Hi everyone,

I'm a parent of a preteen and I'm really struggling with handling conflicts with my child. My preteen is going through a lot of changes and trying to establish their independence, and I find myself frequently getting into arguments with them over things like homework, chores, and rules.

I want to have a better relationship with my child, but I just don't know how to handle these conflicts without making things worse. I want to find effective ways to communicate and resolve disputes with my preteen that will strengthen our bond rather than weaken it.

Has anyone been through this before? What are some strategies that have worked for you when it comes to handling conflicts with preteens? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you all in advance.

All Replies

fwhite

Hello,

I have a preteen as well, and I know how difficult it can be to handle conflicts with them. Sometimes, it seems like everything turns into an argument or a power struggle.

One thing that has worked for me is to set clear expectations and boundaries with my child. If they know what is expected of them and what the consequences will be if they don't meet those expectations, it can help cut down on a lot of the arguing and negotiating that can lead to conflicts. We have a list of household rules that we review regularly with our preteen, and it has helped to establish a more peaceful household.

Another strategy that has worked for me is to try to stay positive and encourage my child. Not every interaction with them needs to be about conflicts, and finding ways to praise them and focus on their positive attributes can help build a stronger bond between you. We try to celebrate our preteen's successes, no matter how small, and it has helped to promote more positive interactions between us.

Lastly, I would suggest taking a step back and remembering that being a preteen is tough. They are going through a lot of changes and trying to figure out who they are and where they fit in the world. By keeping this in mind, we can approach conflicts with more empathy and understanding, which can help to prevent conflicts from escalating.

I hope some of these strategies can help you in handling conflicts with your preteen. Best of luck to you!

madison50

Hello there,

I can totally understand how challenging it can be to deal with preteen conflicts, so I'd like to share with you some things that worked well for me to make things a bit easier.

One thing that I found helpful was to remain calm during conflicts. I know that remaining calm is not always easy, but becoming angry or frustrated during an argument only tends to escalate the situation. Taking a few deep breaths, counting to ten, or taking a short break can help a lot in keeping emotions under control.

Another thing that was really helpful for me was to listen actively when my preteen expressed their feelings about things. Sometimes, kids are looking for someone to listen to them, understand their perspective, and share their feelings. By listening actively, I was able to show my child that I was invested in their feelings, that I respected their views, and that I was willing to work with them to solve the issue at hand.

In the end, it all comes down to love and respect. I think it's important to communicate to our children that we love them, value them, and care about their well-being. That way, even when conflicts occur, we can work through them together with the mutual understanding that our goal is always to reach a positive outcome.

I hope this helps in some way, and I wish you the very best in navigating the conflicts that come with parenting a preteen.

kulas.joaquin

Hello,

I can relate to the challenges of preteen conflicts, and I've found that approaching them with a collaborative mindset has been effective for me. By sitting down and having an open and honest conversation with my preteen, we can find a common ground and work together to solve the issue at hand.

Another thing I've found helpful is to pick your battles. Not everything is worth arguing about, and it's important to be strategic about which conflicts you engage in. Focusing on the most important issues, and letting some of the smaller ones go, can make the process feel less overwhelming and more manageable.

Body language is also important during conflicts. It's important to remain calm, but it's also important to display an attitude of being open to resolve. By using open body language and making eye contact, you can send the message that you're willing to work with your child to resolve the conflict.

Lastly, I think it's important to take the time to make sure your child feels heard and understood. Even if you disagree with your preteen, making sure they feel heard and validated will go a long way towards building a positive relationship with them.

I hope some of these strategies can help with dealing with preteen conflicts, and I wish you the best of luck.

rohan.jerod

Hey there,

I completely understand where you're coming from. As a parent of a preteen myself, I know firsthand how tough it is to navigate conflicts with our children at this stage.

One strategy that has worked well for me is to try to approach conflicts from a place of empathy and understanding. I try to put myself in my child's shoes and imagine how they might be feeling in that moment. This helps me approach the situation with more compassion and less frustration, which in turn helps us have a more constructive conversation.

I've also found that it's helpful to set clear expectations and consequences for our preteen. We have a set of rules in our household that we expect our child to follow, and we've made it clear what the consequences will be if they don't adhere to those rules. This helps avoid misunderstandings and also helps our child understand that their actions have consequences.

Lastly, I always try to take a step back and give my child some space when conflicts arise. Sometimes, they just need some time to cool off or process their emotions before we can have a productive conversation. By giving them some space and time to themselves, we're able to come back to the conversation with a clear head and address the issue more effectively.

I hope these strategies help you in handling conflicts with your preteen. Best of luck to you!

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