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My gifted child is struggling with perfectionism, how can I help them develop a growth mindset and a willingness to take risks?

Hi everyone,

I am a parent of a gifted child, who is currently struggling with perfectionism. Despite being naturally talented in various areas, my child is hesitant to take any risks or try anything new, for fear of failure. They often get very upset and demotivated when their work is anything less than perfect. I am concerned that this mindset may hinder their progress and development in the long run.

As a parent, I want to help my child to develop a growth mindset, where they are willing to take risks and learn from mistakes. Do you have any tips or advice for how I can support my child in this regard? Any personal experiences or resources that you can recommend? I would really appreciate any insights that you may have.

Thank you in advance!

All Replies


Hi there,

As a parent of a gifted child who also struggled with perfectionism, I can definitely relate to your concerns. One thing that I found helpful was to have open conversations with my child about the importance of taking risks and learning from failure. We talked about famous inventors or successful individuals who experienced numerous setbacks before achieving their goals. I reminded my child that failure is not the end of the road, but rather an opportunity to learn and grow.

Additionally, I encouraged my child to practice new skills outside of their comfort zone, such as taking up a new hobby or trying a different subject in school. We celebrated small successes along the way, even if they weren't perfect. Over time, my child became more comfortable with taking risks and learned to embrace a growth mindset.

I also found the book "Mindset: The New Psychology of Success" by Carol Dweck to be a helpful resource in understanding and promoting a growth mindset.

Hope this helps!



I am also a parent of a gifted child who struggled with perfectionism. One thing that really helped was to redirect the focus from results to effort. I learned to challenge the notion that being naturally talented meant that success came easily without hard work or mistakes. Instead, I instilled the value of hard work and effort as being the true determinant of success.

As a result, I started rewarding effort rather than outcomes. My child appreciated the recognition of the hard work required to produce the results, which fostered a growth mindset that allowed for a willingness to take risks and explore without fear of judgement.

Additionally, I discovered that not only providing positive reinforcement but also constructive feedback was helpful. We would discuss the mistakes and how to learn from them and make improvements in future projects. This helped my child view mistakes and drawbacks as opportunities for growth instead of defining it as failures.

In conclusion, helping your child overcome perfectionism requires patience, empathy and a growth mindset. Redirecting the focus from outcomes to effort and acknowledging constructive feedback helps in fostering resilience and becoming comfortable with taking risks.



As a parent of a gifted child, I understand the struggle with perfectionism. One thing that has helped my child is to encourage them to embrace failures and make them an opportunity to learn from their mistakes rather than being afraid of them. It's important to show your child that failure isn't the end goal but part of the journey in achieving greater success.

I also recommend talking to your child about the importance of growth, improvement, and the process involved in success. Share stories of famous people who failed multiple times but kept trying and eventually succeeded. This will help your child to develop a more positive attitude towards failure and approach it as an opportunity for growth.

Another approach would be to have open discussions with your child about their experiences and how they feel when they strive for perfection. Encourage them to talk about their struggles and listen to their feelings. This shows your child that you support them and that they're not alone.

Moreover, focus on progress rather than perfectionism. Praise your child for their hard work and the progress they have made rather than their achievements. It's important to encourage the effort that they took in achieving those goals.

Overall, developing a growth mindset requires patience, effort, and a shift in perspective. With the right mindset, your child can begin to embrace their imperfections, take risks, and enjoy the process of growth and development.


Hi there,

I can relate to the struggle of having a gifted child who is also a perfectionist. One thing that worked for me was to provide a safe space for my child to experiment and explore without fear of judgement. I started by being more patient and understanding, and reinforcing the idea that putting forth effort and taking risks was more important than perfection.

I also found that it was helpful to encourage my child to appreciate the process of learning and growth, even if it meant making mistakes. We discussed how failure could be an opportunity to reflect and adjust strategies for future success. I made it clear that I valued effort, progress and resilience over perfection.

Lastly, I discovered that modeling a growth mindset and willingness to take risks was influential to my child's development. Whether it was taking up a new hobby, trying a new recipe, stepping outside of my comfort zone or sharing stories of my own struggle with perfectionism, my child learned that it's okay to take risks and try new things.

Ultimately, overcoming perfectionism is a journey, and it takes time and effort to develop a growth mindset. But with patience, understanding and consistent effort, I'm confident that your child will learn to embrace a growth mindset too.



I can completely understand your concern over your gifted child's struggle with perfectionism. However, you should know that it's not uncommon for gifted children to be perfectionists. In fact, I faced the same issue with my daughter a few years back.

Firstly, it's important to acknowledge that seeking to be perfect in everything means setting unrealistic expectations that can lead to a constant sense of disappointment and frustration. So, as a parent, you need to help your child understand that it's okay to make mistakes and take risks. Encourage them to try new things that may not be within their comfort zone.

You can also help your child develop a growth mindset by identifying their strengths and weaknesses, and setting achievable targets. Commend them on their progress, but do not celebrate only when they achieve perfection. Instead, acknowledge the effort they put in trying to reach their goals, even if they don't meet the desired outcome.

Overall, helping your child develop a growth mindset and willingness to take risks will take time, patience and consistency. However, with your help, they can become more confident, resilient, and able to handle life's challenges.


Hi everyone,

As a parent of a gifted child with perfectionism, I found that helping my child understand the concept of growth mindset was the first step towards overcoming perfectionism. It involves changing how they perceive failure and their abilities.

One suggestion is to encourage your child to develop a positive self-image. You can help by reminding them of their strengths, and how these attributes can help them overcome challenges. Ensure that your child is acknowledged for their efforts, rather than only focusing on results.

Another thing that I have found particularly effective is having conversations where you, as a parent, talk about mistakes or failures that you have experienced and how you overcame them. This approach will help your child understand that failure is a natural part of the learning curve, and it's an essential step towards achieving their goals.

Lastly, I found that practicing mindfulness exercises like deep breathing, and visualization can help reduce tension and promote relaxation in children. Activities, such as yoga or meditation, can assist with reducing anxiety and stress that often accompany perfectionism.

In conclusion, helping your child overcome perfectionism is possible with encouragement, positive reinforcement, and support. The goal is to equip them with the confidence, resilience, and mindset required to navigate challenging situations and reach their full potential.

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