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Q:

How do I manage boundaries and personal space while co-sleeping with my baby and partner?

Hi everyone,

I am a new mom and currently co-sleeping with our 3-month-old baby and my partner. Initially, we started co-sleeping due to convenience as it made night feedings easier. However, I am starting to feel like my personal space and boundaries are being compromised.

My partner tends to take up a lot of space and sometimes accidentally elbows me in his sleep. I am also worried about accidentally rolling onto the baby or covering him with a blanket.

I would love to continue co-sleeping for the benefits it provides, but I need some advice on how to manage boundaries and personal space for myself, my partner and our baby. Any tips or experiences would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance!

All Replies

stiedemann.tiara

Hi there,

I completely understand where you're coming from. When it comes to co-sleeping, figuring out boundaries and personal space can be tricky. Here are some tips based on my personal experience:

1. Use a bed rail - A bed rail can act as a barrier between you and your partner, giving you a sense of personal space. We used a bed rail specifically for co-sleeping babies. It was easy to install and gave us a little more comfort.

2. Designate sides of the bed - It may be helpful to designate specific sides of the bed for you, your partner, and the baby. We put our baby in the middle of the bed, then my partner slept on one side and I slept on the other.

3. Have a plan B - It's important to have an alternative sleeping arrangement in case things don't work out. For example, we have a bassinet next to our bed that we use if we need to separate our baby from us.

4. Experiment with different sleeping positions - Different sleeping positions can help you find what works best for everyone involved. Some people prefer side-laying, while others prefer to have the baby at their feet.

As a bonus tip, I'd recommend ensuring that both you and your partner are comfortable with the co-sleeping arrangement. If someone is not on board, it can make things more challenging.

I hope these tips help you find a way to make co-sleeping work for your family. It can be a wonderful experience, but it's important to be mindful of boundaries and personal space.

major.keebler

Hello,

I completely understand what you are going through. I had a similar experience when I first started co-sleeping with my twin babies and partner. Here are some tips from my personal experience that may help you:

1. Pillow segregation - Since my partner likes using many pillows, it became difficult for all of us to fit on the bed. So, we decided to keep our pillows separate. I used a maternity pillow that helps support your body and gives a comfortable sleeping posture to you as well as the baby. My partner slept separately with his own pillows, and the babies could lie side-saddle on my maternity pillow.

2. Bedside crib - A bedside crib is like a regular crib but with one open side that can attach to the side of an adult bed. We installed the bedside crib to create a separate space for the twins, giving them the security of being close to us.

3. Keep clothes separate - It may sound weird but keeping separate clothes made a considerable difference in managing personal space. Since we changed our clothes frequently because of the babies, we decided to keep separate clothes on our respective sides of the bed. We kept one nightstand for each of us, and it provided more space for storing our stuff.

4. Alternative sleeping arrangements - In case you are not able to manage the co-sleeping, it is also okay to try other sleeping arrangements. Do not hesitate to consider a separate bed next to your bed or another room.

Co-sleeping can be challenging, but it is so rewarding to be close to your baby. I hope these tips help you find a way to make co-sleeping work for your family.

aritchie

Hey there,

I completely understand where you are coming from as I had a similar experience when co-sleeping with my baby and partner. Here are some things that I found helpful in managing boundaries and personal space.

1. Use a bigger bed - When co-sleeping, it's important to have enough room for everyone. We found that upgrading to a bigger bed made all the difference. We now have a King-size and it's perfect for us.

2. Have a designated space for the baby - We used a co-sleeper crib that attached to our bed. This gave our baby his own space and made me feel more at ease knowing that he was in a designated and safe area.

3. Use separate blankets - My partner tends to move around a lot in his sleep and would often pull the blanket away from me. I started using a separate blanket just for myself which made it easier to manage my own temperature while also not interfering with my partners' blanket.

4. Communication - It's important to communicate with your partner about any concerns you have. Let them know how you feel and work together to come up with solutions that work for everyone.

I hope these tips are helpful! Co-sleeping can be such a great experience but it's important to make sure that everyone's needs are being met. Good luck!

sadye14

Hi,

I can relate to your situation as I have been co-sleeping with my 9-month-old baby and husband for some time now. Co-sleeping can be challenging when it comes to managing personal space and boundaries, but here are some tips that have worked for us:

1. Have separate bedding - It's essential to have separate bedding for you, your partner, and the baby to avoid clashes with boundaries. We designated a particular area of the bed for our baby's bedding, and we each had our own bedding. This enabled us to stick to our own sides of the bed and avoid elbowing or kicking each other.

2. Establish a minimum age - We decided to establish a minimum age for co-sleeping with our baby. It is crucial to define when we would transition her to her own crib or bed. This gave us some peace of mind and allowed us to work better towards our next steps.

3. Get a bigger bed - We upgraded to a bigger bed to have enough space for everyone, giving each person plenty of space to sleep comfortably. It's essential to have sufficient space to avoid feeling cramped up and uncomfortable.

4. Stay in communication - Communication about maintaining personal boundaries is crucial. It's a good idea to discuss the things that each person needs to make co-sleeping comfortable for them. This can be about sleeping posture or taking turns being on the baby's side.

5. Consider solo sleeping - Solo sleeping for the mom or dad might be a worthy consideration. It might come in handy for mothers who need good sleep or have separate work hours. It also allows for some time and space apart from the rest of the family.

I hope these tips are helpful to you! Co-sleeping can provide a beautiful bonding experience for parents and their babies, but it is important to manage personal space and boundaries for everyone involved.

stella07

Hello,

I relate to your situation as I am currently co-sleeping with my 6-month-old baby and partner. Initially, it was tough to manage boundaries and personal space, but we eventually found a system that works for us. Here are some tips based on my experience:

1. Keep the bed organized - Co-sleeping can easily turn into chaos if the bed is not organized. It's essential to keep things organized to avoid discomfort. We designated specific storage space for different items such as the baby's diapers, wipes, feeding bottles, etc. This made it easy to keep track of everything and avoid clutter.

2. Use a safety rail - A safety rail can be useful in managing personal space especially when your partner is a heavy sleeper. We found a safety rail that attached to the side of our bed. This provided a boundary between our baby and my partner.

3. Have a nighttime routine - Creating a predictable bedtime routine can be helpful in regulating sleep and managing expectations. We follow a simple routine of bathing, feeding, and cuddling with our baby before we go to sleep. This helps us prepare for the night and ensure that everyone is comfortable and relaxed.

4. Take turns - Co-sleeping requires teamwork and occasionally taking turns to manage personal space can be helpful. When our baby is restless or doesn't seem to be sleeping on my side, I switch places with my partner. This way, we both get a chance to have adequate personal space and also take care of our baby.

Co-sleeping can be an incredible bonding experience, but it's essential to manage personal space and boundaries for everyone involved. With some adjustment and communication, you'll find what works best for your family.

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