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How do I help my adopted or foster child feel secure and stable in our home?

Hi everyone,

I am a new parent to an adopted child and I am seeking advice on how to help my child feel secure and stable in our home. My child has had a difficult past and I want to make sure they feel safe and loved in our home.

I understand that it may take some time for my child to adjust to a new environment and I want to make sure I am doing everything I can to help them feel comfortable. I have already started to establish routines and rules to give my child a sense of structure and predictability.

However, I am looking for any additional tips or strategies that others may have used to help their adopted or foster children feel secure and stable in their homes. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

All Replies


Hello everyone,

As a foster parent, I highly recommend creating a stable and consistent routine for your child. Children who have experienced significant trauma in their past may struggle with feeling secure in their new home environment. Developing a consistent routine can help provide a sense of stability and structure, which can help ease feelings of anxiety or confusion.

I also suggest practicing active listening, which involves giving your child your full attention and allowing them the space to speak their feelings and to be heard. I’ve found this to be a powerful tool in building trust with my foster children, and it's really helped our relationship grow.

Another important factor is providing a safe and comfortable environment for your child. This includes providing them with their own space and personal belongings, such as bedding, toys, and clothing. Making them feel that they have a place of their own can really help them to feel more secure in their new home.

Lastly, it’s important to involve your child in decision-making processes that affect their life. I've found that this gives my foster children a sense of ownership and control over their lives and can help boost their self-esteem.

Overall, creating a supportive, stable, and nurturing environment requires patience, love, and consistent effort. The journey may be challenging at times, but it's incredibly rewarding, and I wouldn't trade my experiences as a foster parent for anything.


Hello all,

As an adoptive parent of two children, I believe that it’s crucial to create a supportive and nurturing environment for your child. Adopted and foster children may have experienced traumatic events in their past, which can potentially affect their behavior and emotional well-being. Therefore, it’s important to show your children compassion, and try to understand their feelings and emotions.

One of the ways I created a supportive environment for my children was through creating a safe space for them to express themselves. This meant allowing them to open up about their past and listening non-judgmentally. I found that by doing so, I was able to gain their trust and build a closer relationship with them.

Another way I supported my children was by encouraging their interests, hobbies, and talents. This can help them feel appreciated, capable, and more confident in themselves, boosting their self-esteem and self-discovery. I also made sure to regularly acknowledge their positive attributes and milestones.

Lastly, make sure you are providing for your child's physical needs as well. Creating healthy meal plans, getting regular checkups, and encouraging daily physical activity can help establish a sense of wellness and structure.

Remember, it's a journey that requires patience, love, and attentiveness, but with the right mindset, anyone can create a supportive and nurturing environment for their adopted or foster child.

All the best,


Hello all,

As a foster parent who has fostered children from different ages and backgrounds, I know that building a strong support system for the child is essential. This includes everyone who shares a close bond with the child, such as family members, friends, teachers, and mentors. As a foster parent, reaching out to these individuals and building a positive relationship with them can help create a solid foundation of support for your child.

Another way to support your foster or adopted child is by creating a personalized care plan that addresses their specific needs. This can include therapy or counseling sessions, educational attention, or help with medical needs, if necessary. This plan should be reviewed and updated regularly, with input and feedback from the child and their supporters.

Creating a sense of normalcy and routine can also be beneficial for foster or adopted children. Establishing a consistent daily routine (e.g., meal times, sleeping patterns, and chores) can help the child feel more comfortable and secure in their new environment. Keeping discipline and rules consistent is also important for their emotional wellbeing.

Lastly, being patient and understanding is key. Showing your child empathy and respect can help build a trusting relationship and make them feel comfortable opening up to you. Remember that your foster or adopted child may have special needs or require extra support, and that it's important to remain flexible and adaptable throughout the process.

I hope my insights on this topic can help other foster or adoptive parents create a supportive, stable, and loving environment for their child.


Hey there,

As a foster parent of several children, I think one important factor in making a child feel secure and stable is consistency. Children from challenging backgrounds often do not have any predictability or regularity in their lives, so it's important for them to know what to expect in their new home. This can be done by sticking to routines, creating rules and consequences, and following through on promises.

In addition, family therapy and counseling can be incredibly beneficial for both the child and the parent. My foster children often came with emotional baggage that they could not express or understand, but family therapy provided a space to address those issues and to help us learn how to better communicate and work together.

Lastly, remember that each child is unique and may have different needs. Don't be afraid to ask your child what makes them feel safe and happy, and adjust your approach as necessary. Building a strong relationship with your child takes time, effort, and patience, but it is incredibly rewarding in the long run.

Best of luck to you and your family!


Hello everyone,

As a parent of an adopted child, I understand how important it is to create a sense of belonging and inclusion. Children who have been adopted or in foster care may have had an experience of being displaced, which can lead to a sense of not belonging anywhere.

To help our child feel secure and stable in our home, we made sure to involve them in family activities and decisions from the very beginning. This made them feel like they were an integral part of the family and that they had an important say in what happened in our home. We also made sure to celebrate their uniqueness and uniqueness of their background.

Additionally, we made sure to establish positive communication in our household. We wanted our child to feel comfortable talking to us about their feelings or issues they might be facing. To do this, we created a judgment-free zone, where they could share their perspective without worrying about any negative consequences. We also tried to actively involve ourselves in their interests and hobbies, which helped us to bond with our child.

Finally, we believe it is important to be patient, empathetic, and understanding of our child's past experiences. While we may not fully comprehend what our child has been through, showing them a supportive, empathetic, and loving environment can help them adjust and settle into their new life with us.

I hope these suggestions are helpful to other adoptive or foster parents. It's important to remember that every child is unique, and what works for one may not work for another, so patience, understanding, and flexibility are key.


Hi there,

As an adoptive parent myself, I understand the importance of creating a stable and secure environment for your child. One thing that has really helped my child feel secure in our home is by establishing a strong bond with them. This means spending quality time together, actively listening to their thoughts and feelings, and showing them unconditional love and care.

I've also found that creating a positive and supportive home environment can greatly benefit your child's well-being. This can be done by encouraging open communication, having clear boundaries and expectations, and showing consistent positive reinforcement. Also, making sure that your child feels included in decisions that affect them can help them feel empowered and more comfortable in their new home.

Overall, I think the key is to be patient and understanding, recognizing that it takes time for your child to adjust to a new environment. With love, support, and a bit of patience, you can create a safe and stable home for your adopted or foster child to grow and thrive in.

Hope this helps!

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