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Q:

How do I handle conflicts and disagreements with my child while also maintaining a positive and healthy relationship?

Hi all,

I am a parent of a 9-year-old boy who has been giving me a hard time lately. It seems like we are constantly butting heads, and I'm worried that our relationship is becoming strained. I know that conflicts and disagreements are a normal part of parenting, but I want to make sure that I am handling them in a way that doesn't damage our relationship.

Some examples of the conflicts we've been having include:

- He refuses to do his homework and throws a fit when I try to get him to sit down and focus.
- He wants to play video games all day on the weekends, but I want him to spend some time outdoors and be active.
- He has been talking back to me and not listening when I give him instructions.

I want to be able to discipline him when necessary, but I also want to maintain a healthy and positive relationship with him. How can I strike a balance between these two things? Any advice or tips are greatly appreciated.

Thank you!

All Replies

jkoepp

Hey everyone,

As a parent of a teenager, I have experienced a wide range of conflicts and disagreements with my child. One strategy that has worked for me is to actively listen and try to understand my teenager's perspective.

Often, clashes occur because of differences in perception or priorities, and by listening actively to my teenager, I can better understand where they're coming from. By showing that I understand and care about their perspective, I can build trust and respect with my teenager, which can help to reduce future conflicts.

Another technique that has worked for me is to focus on problem-solving, rather than just punishment or discipline. When conflicts arise, I try to work with my teenager to find a solution that works for both of us, rather than simply punishing or scolding them for their behavior.

Finally, I think it's important to maintain open and honest communication with my teenager at all times. By fostering a relationship built on trust and respect, I am better equipped to handle conflicts and disagreements in a positive and healthy way.

Overall, I believe that being a good listener, focusing on problem-solving, and communicating openly and honestly are all important strategies for maintaining a positive relationship with your teenager, even in the face of conflicts and disagreements.

boehm.denis

Hi there,

As a parent of two young children, I understand the importance of handling conflicts and disagreements in a constructive way. One strategy that has worked well for me is to set clear boundaries and expectations with my children.

For example, I have established specific rules around screen time, and my children know that they need to earn that time by first completing homework and engaging in other activities. By having these clear expectations, there is less room for conflict over what is or isn't allowed, and my children are more likely to comply.

Another strategy that has worked well for me is to take a problem-solving approach to conflicts. Instead of just punishing my children or getting upset, I try to work with them to find a solution that satisfies everyone involved. For example, if my children are arguing over a toy, I might suggest that they take turns or come up with a compromise that they both agree on.

Finally, I have found that it's important to stay consistent in my approach to conflict resolution. By consistently enforcing rules and expectations and using a problem-solving approach, my children have come to understand what is expected of them, and they are more likely to comply without creating conflict.

Overall, I think that being clear, problem-solving focused, and consistent are all essential strategies for maintaining a positive and healthy relationship with your child, even in the face of conflicts and disagreements.

purdy.ellie

Hello,

I understand the concerns that you have with your child. As a parent, I have also experienced similar situations with my 7-year-old son. One thing that has helped me while handling conflicts is to give clear and concise instructions to my child.

For example, when I ask my son to do his homework, I make sure to break down the instructions into smaller steps and give them to him one by one. This helps my son avoid feeling overwhelmed, and he is better able to understand what is expected of him.

Another technique that has helped me is to praise my son for the things that he does well. When we focus on the positive things, it can help to reduce the frequency of conflicts. When he does a good job with his homework, I make sure to give him positive feedback and commend him on a job well done.

Overall, I think it's important to keep a positive attitude and approach conflicts as opportunities to teach and grow. As parents, we want to maintain a healthy and positive relationship with our children, and it's important to always keep this in mind as we navigate conflicts and disagreements.

eglover

Hi there,

I completely understand your concern. As a fellow parent, I've had similar experiences with my 8-year-old daughter. One thing that has really helped me is to approach conflicts and disagreements as opportunities for learning and growth, rather than just as frustrating situations to be dealt with.

For example, when my daughter refuses to do her homework, instead of getting angry or frustrated, I try to understand why she's resisting. Is she feeling overwhelmed or stressed out? If so, I can help her break down the work into smaller tasks or take a break and come back to it later. If she's just being stubborn, I try to find creative ways to make homework more engaging and fun.

Another thing that has been helpful for me is to listen and empathize with my daughter. When she talks back or doesn't listen, instead of automatically punishing her or getting angry, I try to understand where she's coming from. Is she feeling ignored or like she doesn't have control over her life? By listening and working to find a solution together, we're able to diffuse the situation and avoid damaging our relationship.

Overall, I think it's important to approach conflicts and disagreements with an open mind and a willingness to learn and adapt. It's also important to remember that every child is different and may respond better to different approaches. Good luck, and I hope this helps!

destiny.lueilwitz

Hi there,

As a fellow parent with an 11-year-old son, I can totally relate to the struggles of maintaining a positive and healthy relationship with your child while dealing with conflicts and disagreements.

One thing that I have found helpful is to try to stay calm and not take things personally. When a child is acting out or being difficult, it's easy to get frustrated and lose your cool. However, by remaining calm and collected, you're more likely to find a solution that works for everyone.

Another thing that has worked for me is to listen to my son's perspective on things. Sometimes, conflicts arise because there is a miscommunication or a difference in expectations. By really listening to my son and trying to understand where he's coming from, I'm often able to find a compromise that satisfies both of us.

Finally, I think it's important to show your child that you love and care for them, even when they're misbehaving. This doesn't mean that you let them get away with anything, of course. But by showing them that your love for them is unconditional, they're more likely to feel secure and valued, even when they're in trouble.

Overall, I think these strategies have helped me to handle conflicts and disagreements with my son in a constructive way that maintains our positive relationship. I hope they work for you as well!

garry35

Hello everyone,

As a parent of a 6-year-old daughter, I have faced several conflicts and disagreements with her over the years. One of the techniques that has been useful for me is showing my daughter that we are a team, and we can work together to solve problems.

I achieve this by breaking down the conflict into small parts that we can address together. For example, if my daughter is refusing to take a bath, I will sit down with her and try to understand why she is resisting. Then, we can work together to find a solution that works for both of us.

Another technique that has worked for me is to find a way to diffuse tension by injecting some humor into the situation. Often, I find that a playful approach can help me to lighten the mood and diffuse any conflicts that may arise.

Finally, I try to embrace flexibility and stay open to new ideas. As children grow and develop, their needs and interests change, and what worked yesterday may not work tomorrow. By staying open and willing to adapt, I am better equipped to deal with conflicts and disagreements in a positive and healthy way.

Overall, I believe that showing teamwork, humor, and flexibility in the face of conflicts can help to maintain a positive and healthy relationship with children. For me, these techniques have been instrumental in navigating my daughter's growing pains and have allowed us to maintain a loving and respectful bond.

althea.raynor

Hey all,

As a new parent of a 2-year-old son, I’m still learning the ropes when it comes to conflicts and disagreements. One thing that has helped me in the early stages, however, is to focus on positive reinforcement and praise.

Rather than getting upset or frustrated when my son acts out, I try to praise and reward him when he does something positive. For example, if we’re out at a restaurant and he behaves well, I might give him a small treat or toy as a reward. This helps him to understand what behavior is expected of him, and it reinforces positive behavior in a constructive way.

Another strategy that has worked for me is to remove negative attention when possible. If my son is acting out for attention, I try to give him a positive outlet for that energy and avoid feeding into negative behavior.

Overall, I’ve found that positivity and reinforcement are key when dealing with young children. By reinforcing positive behavior and avoiding negative attention, you can set the foundation for a healthy and positive relationship that will serve both parent and child well in the long run.

mclaughlin.abraham

Hi!

I can understand how difficult it can be to handle conflicts and disagreements with kids. As a parent of a 10-year-old daughter, I too have experienced similar situations. However, what helps me to maintain a positive and healthy relationship with my child is to try to see things from their perspective.

It's not always easy, but I try to put myself in my daughter's shoes and understand what's causing her to act out or resist. Sometimes, it's rooted in her own anxieties or worries, and the behavior is a way of expressing those feelings. By approaching her with empathy and understanding, rather than frustration or anger, I can better help her work through those emotions.

Another thing that has helped me is to make sure that every interaction is respectful and kind. Even in the heat of an argument or disagreement, I try to remain calm and avoid saying anything hurtful or demeaning. This helps to demonstrate that we can work through conflicts without resorting to harsh words or negativity.

Overall, I think that conflicts and disagreements can be opportunities for growth and learning in a parent-child relationship. By practicing empathy, respect, and kindness, we can navigate those situations in a way that maintains a strong and healthy bond between parent and child.

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