Loading Kindness - Spinning Up Mommy Magic

While the Love Loads, Our Spinner Spins. Get Ready to Share, Support, and Bond with Like-minded Moms!

Popular Searches:

How do I discipline my child when they are not responding to gentle techniques?

Hi everyone,

I'm a mom of a seven-year-old son, and I'm really struggling with discipline. I've been trying gentle techniques like positive reinforcement, redirection, and time-outs, but they don't seem to be working for my child. He is still acting out and misbehaving despite my efforts.

I'm now at a loss of what to do next. I don't want to resort to harsh punishment, but I also don't want my child to continue with his bad behavior. I'm wondering if any other parents have been in a similar situation and could offer some advice on how to discipline a child who is not responding to gentle techniques.

Thanks in advance for your help!

All Replies


Hi there,

I hear you. It can be challenging when gentle techniques don't work, and you don't want to resort to harsh punishment either.

For my family, we had to develop a tailored approach for each child. We have four children, and each one reacts differently to discipline techniques. We learned that our one child was more responsive to a reward system, while our other child was more responsive to timeouts.

We also found that following through with consequences was important. If we talked about what the consequence would be, we had to follow through with it. If we didn't, our kids would lose trust in us and what we said. So, it's essential to be consistent with the discipline while applying it.

It's also important to keep all communication respectful when delivering the consequences. We would sit down with them and discuss why their behaviour was wrong and what to do in the future. And let them know that the consequence is a reflection of their unacceptable behaviour but not them as human beings.

Remember every child is unique and finding what works best for your child takes time. But through consistent discipline, open communication and positive reinforcement, your child will learn to respect boundaries and understand right from wrong.

Hope this helps. Please reach out if you have any questions!


Hi there,

I can relate to your situation as I've been there myself. My son was also not responding to gentle discipline techniques, and it was causing a lot of stress and conflict in our family. But we were able to find a solution that worked for us.

First, we made sure that our expectations were clear and consistent. We set up a list of household rules and consequences for breaking them. This helped our son understand what was expected of him and what would happen if he didn't follow the rules.

We also started using a system of rewards for positive behaviour. We created a chart where our son could earn stars for doing things like completing his homework, being kind to others, and following the rules. When he reached a certain number of stars, he would earn a small reward, like a toy or a special treat.

Finally, we found it helpful to give our son more choices and control over his behaviour. Instead of simply telling him what to do or not do, we would present him with options and explain the consequences of each choice. This helped him feel more empowered and invested in his own behaviour.

It took some trial and error, but these techniques did eventually work for us. I hope they can be helpful to you as well. Good luck!


Hey there,

I have a daughter who was the same way. No amount of gentle approach or time-outs seemed to work in disciplining her. It was frustrating at the time, but we learned to recognize that all children are different and it's up to us as parents to figure out what is most effective for them.

What worked for us was incorporating natural consequences into our discipline strategy. For instance, if my daughter didn't clean up her toys or complete her homework, she would lose privileges to watch TV or play games. Alternatively, if she did complete her tasks, she could earn a privilege like extra playtime, baking with Mum or watching a movie together.

We also made it a point to talk with her and understand her point of view. We discovered she was acting out or struggling with her school work because she didn't enjoy her surroundings/school environment, yet she was too young to communicate that. By changing the environment, she became more comfortable, and her behaviour changed automatically.

Overall, it's a balance of finding firm yet fair consequences, understanding your child's behaviour and triggers, and the environment they are in. I hope this helps, and you can figure out something that works for both of you soon.


Hi all,

I completely understand what you're going through. As a parent of two, I have had my fair share of trying gentle techniques, but they do not seem to work.

One technique that has been working well for me is to address our child's needs. Sometimes children misbehave because they need attention, reassurance, or help with something. Once we recognized the need, we gave our full attention to it, and there was usually an improvement in the child's behaviour.

Another effective technique is to follow through with boundaries and have clear expectations. Children need structure and routine to thrive, which includes consistent and logical consequences to misbehaviour. We needed to be consistent with our reactions, or children will start to test the boundaries and not take our consequences seriously.

Another essential aspect of discipline is modeling the behaviour we expected from our children; For example, if we expect them to speak calmly and respectfully, then we also need to apply it when we talk with them. Children learn a lot through observation, and the way we handle situations will impact how they will react to similar circumstances in the future.

To conclude, discipline is a learning process, and it's important to remember that not every technique may work for your child. You may find it useful to try a trial-and-error approach to see which technique works for your child as everyone is different.


Hi everyone,

I can relate to the struggles of discipline as my kids didn't respond to gentle techniques either. However, we found a technique that worked amazing for my family, enforcing natural consequences.

By enforcing natural consequences, we let our children know that their actions will have an outcome or consequence. We encourage our kids to think of the consequence before one takes action. It taught them critical thinking and responsibility for their actions while making consequences more meaningful and long-lasting.

We also made it a point to not use punishment as a means of discipline when enforcing natural consequences. We would try to explain to our kids why their behaviour was wrong and how their actions are affecting others or even themselves. By not punishing the child, it allows the child to learn from their faults and what to do in the future.

Another thing that worked for us is Positive role modelling. If we want our kids not to hit, scream or argue, we shouldn't hit, scream or argue with them or anyone else. By showing them how to resolve conflict in a respectful and calm manner, they will learn what to do in similar situations.

In conclusion, enforcing natural consequences, following positive role modelling and having a conversation with our kids about their behaviour are strategies that worked great for us. Every child is different, so it might take a little patience, understanding and willingness to find what works for your child best.


Hi all,

I've been in the same boat raising my super active six-year-old son. No gentle techniques were working for him as he was extremely impulsive and aggressive. However, through trial and error, we developed a technique that worked well for him.

We found that creating a calm-down corner was beneficial for him. It's a designated space in our home where he can go to collect himself when he's feeling overwhelmed or angry. The calm-down corner is equipped with items that he finds soothing, like a weighted blanket or sensory toys. Setting up the calm-down corner with your child's favourite items can help them feel a sense of control and comfort.

We also started using logical consequences to deal with his behaviour. For instance, if my son was making a mess, we would ask him to clean up, and if he didn't, we would restrict his TV time or not let him play with his favourite toys. Making a logical progression between the behaviour and its consequence is key to ensuring it's appropriate and the child can identify with the situation.

Overall, it's all about understanding your child's behaviour and tailoring discipline techniques that work for them. Try various solutions until you find one that works for your child. Through that, you'll gain insight into your child's unique needs and build a stronger relationship with them. Good luck!

New to Kind Mommy Community?

Join the community