Loading Kindness - Spinning Up Mommy Magic

While the Love Loads, Our Spinner Spins. Get Ready to Share, Support, and Bond with Like-minded Moms!

Popular Searches:

How can I teach my child to be independent and self-sufficient?

Hi everyone,

I am a mother of a six-year-old child and I am looking for advice on how to teach my child to be independent and self-sufficient. My child is constantly relying on me for everything, from getting dressed to completing homework. I want to empower my child to learn how to do things on their own and gain a sense of confidence and independence.

Do you have any tips or suggestions for how I can encourage my child to become more self-sufficient? How can I strike the balance between being supportive and allowing my child to learn through their own mistakes? I look forward to hearing your experiences and advice on this topic. Thank you in advance!

All Replies



As a father of two, I understand the need to raise self-sufficient and independent kids. Starting early is always helpful, but it's never too late to introduce your child to important life skills.

One thing that worked for me was to let them handle simple tasks on their own. For example, I would ask them to make their beds or pack their own school bags. By doing so, they learned simple life skills and gradually discovered how to be responsible.

Another strategy that worked was to let them handle things on their own in public places like ordering food or buying groceries. It was important to always be close by in case of emergencies, but allowing them to take responsibility in public settings helped them develop critical thinking and decision-making skills.

Teaching kids how to manage their money is also a great way to teach independence. I gave each of them a small allowance so they could save up for the things they wanted. This helped instill the value of money and how to make responsible financial decisions.

All in all, the key is to set reasonable goals and gradually increase their responsibilities over time. Positive reinforcement and encouragement are important to help build their confidence in themselves. It's a learning process that takes time and patience, but it's worth the effort in the end.


Hi there,

I can definitely relate to your struggle as a parent. My daughter was also highly dependent on me for almost everything when she was younger. But over the years, I have developed a few strategies that have helped her become more independent and self-sufficient.

Firstly, I started by setting age-appropriate goals and tasks for her. For example, I would ask her to dress herself, prepare her own snack, or even pack her school bag. Of course, at first, I had to supervise her and help her with the tasks, but as she got better at them, I gradually stepped back and let her handle them on her own.

Secondly, I encouraged her to make her own decisions. I would ask her opinion on small things like what to wear or what to eat, which helped her feel more in control of her life. I also made sure to praise her efforts and achievements, no matter how small they were. This helped her develop a sense of pride and confidence in herself.

Lastly, I made sure to give her plenty of opportunities to explore and learn on her own. I would take her to the park or playground and let her explore without too much intervention. This helped her develop problem-solving skills and creativity.

Overall, it takes time and effort to teach a child to be independent and self-sufficient, but it's worth it in the end. Remember to be patient, supportive, and positive throughout the process. Good luck!


Hi there,

As a parent, teaching my child to be self-sufficient and independent was extremely important to me. I found that one of the most effective ways to do this was by allowing my child to experience the consequence of their actions.

For example, if my child was not able to complete their homework because they spent too much time playing, then they would have to face the consequences of not having their work ready the next day in school. It was important to let my child feel the impact of their actions so that they can learn to take responsibility for themselves.

Another approach that helps is to give my child a sense of ownership over their actions. For example, when my child is getting dressed, I would encourage them to choose their outfit and dress themselves. This gives them a sense of pride and helps them feel independent.

Additionally, I set small, age-appropriate goals for my child to accomplish. When they achieved these goals, I provided positive reinforcement, encouragement and acknowledgement. I believe this helped build their self-confidence and self-esteem.

Finally, allowing my child to experience failure and learning from it was essential in the process of developing self-sufficiency. By explaining that mistakes are a part of the learning process, my child learned to persevere despite setbacks and that trying new things can be risky but eventually worthwhile.

I hope these tips work for you, good luck in your parenting journey!



As a working parent, I faced a similar problem of having a child that was highly dependent. One technique that worked for me was to assign tasks and create simple, fun routines that my child could follow.

For example, I created an "after-school" routine where my child would enter, hang their backpack, sit at the table for a snack, and start their homework. This gave my child an idea of what to expect each day and the routine helped them be more independent in their after-school activities.

Assigning age-appropriate tasks is also essential in building your child's self-sufficiency skills. Instead of always cleaning up after them, you can instill skills like cleaning, making beds, cooking, and even grocery shopping as part of their daily responsibilities. Teaching them how to cook simple foods like scrambled eggs or grilled cheese can also be helpful in developing self-sufficiency.

It can also be beneficial to allow them to handle important tasks firsthand, without constant intervention. For example, they could call the family doctor to set up an appointment instead of parents doing it for them.

Finally, it's important to celebrate your child's efforts and achievements, no matter how small they seem. It's the best way to encourage them to take another step forward and try again if they fail.

Overall, it's a gradual process and each child learns at their own pace. With time and practice, your child will become more independent, self-sufficient, and confident for the future!


Hi there,

I have a 10-year-old daughter who was also quite dependent on me for many things. What worked for me was to gradually increase her responsibilities and let her make decisions for herself. For example, I would let her choose her own clothes and make her own lunch.

One thing that helped her gain more independence was to involve her in household chores. I started by asking her to keep her room clean and organize her toys. When she got older, I would ask her to help with simple tasks like washing dishes or laundry. By doing these tasks on her own, she became more confident in herself.

Another strategy was to give her opportunities to try new things. We would go to the park and try different activities like rock climbing or a new sport. This helped her to become more adventurous and willing to try new things on her own.

It's important to remember that letting your child become more independent doesn't mean cutting them off completely. Rather, it's about gradually giving them the skills and confidence to handle things on their own. With patience and encouragement, your child will become more self-sufficient and confident in their abilities.

Hope this helps!


Hey there,

I'm a stay-at-home dad with two boys (aged 5 and 8) and I've found that one of the key things in raising independent and self-sufficient kids is to involve them in decision-making from a young age. Encouraging your child to take responsibility for their choices can be incredibly empowering and helps them feel trusted and valued.

Another thing that has worked for my family is to provide opportunities for my kids to learn new skills. Whether it's cooking a simple meal or fixing a bike tire, there are plenty of life skills that are important to learn. By giving them space to experiment and try things out, they develop a sense of strength and competence.

Something that has been particularly helpful for my kids is creating routines and habits that they can easily follow on their own. For example, a consistent morning routine can help your child get ready for school independently, without the need for constant reminders or assistance.

Finally, I think it's important to be patient and let your child make mistakes. Part of becoming independent is learning how to handle setbacks and failures. Instead of immediately jumping in to fix the problem, allow your child to take responsibility and find a solution on their own - this helps them learn and grow.

Overall, raising independent and self-sufficient kids is an ongoing process that requires patience, guidance, and trust. By working with your child to develop important life skills, you can help them build the confidence and independence they need to succeed in life.


Hello everyone,

As a mother of three, I have found that a critical component of instilling independence and self-sufficiency in children is through teaching them problem-solving skills.

When a child is faced with a problem or challenge, it can be easy to immediately step in and solve it for them. However, this does not help the child develop confidence in their own ability to solve problems. Rather, it is better to guide the child through the process, asking open-ended questions to help them think critically and arrive at their own solutions.

Another effective strategy is to provide opportunities for your child to experience natural consequences. For example, if your child forgets to bring their lunch to school, don't rush to bring it to them. Instead, allow them to experience the natural consequence of forgetting and learn that they must take responsibility for remembering their belongings.

At the same time, it is important to provide a supportive environment for your child's decision-making process. This means praising their successes and highlighting their strengths, even in the midst of failure. By providing a nurturing and supportive environment, your child will develop the confidence to take on new challenges and make decisions on their own.

In summary, teaching problem-solving skills, allowing natural consequences to occur, and providing a supportive environment are key ways to help your child become independent and self-sufficient. It may not be easy, but by empowering your child to think creatively and for themselves, they will undoubtedly flourish in the long run.

New to Kind Mommy Community?

Join the community