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How can I help my preteen build their self-confidence and resilience?

Hi everyone,

I am a parent of a preteen child who is going through a phase of low self-confidence and struggles with resilience. My child has always been sensitive and tends to take things personally, which often leads to disappointment and feelings of inadequacy. I am worried about how this will affect them in the long term and want to do everything I can to help build their self-confidence and resilience.

I would love to hear from other parents or individuals who have experienced similar challenges and have successfully helped their child or themselves overcome these obstacles. Any tips or advice on strategies or resources that have worked for you or your child would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance for your help!

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I have been in your shoes, and it wasn't easy. My preteen was shy, introverted, and found it challenging to express themselves confidently. I tried everything I could, but what worked best for us was to help our preteen develop a positive inner voice. We started by listing positive affirmations that our child could say to themselves regularly. We encouraged our preteen to use these affirmations daily, especially when they felt low.

Additionally, we also worked on building self-awareness in our preteen. I let my child know that it was okay to be sad, angry, or disappointed, but encouraged them to talk about these feelings. By doing so, the child can start understanding their feelings and consequently learn how to express themselves better.

Another approach that worked well was encouraging our preteen to have a growth mindset. We emphasized the importance of putting in effort and working hard towards a goal, even when it was challenging. Celebrating every little milestone and reminding our child that failure is part of the learning process helped them adopt a more positive and proactive approach towards life.

Lastly, we encouraged our preteen to be themselves, believe in their uniqueness, and embrace their quirks. By doing this, our child felt more comfortable expressing themselves openly, and their confidence gradually grew.

I hope these tips also work for you. All the best.


Hi there,

I have also been in a similar situation and identified several strategies that helped my preteen build his self-confidence and resilience. One of the most important things was to give him opportunities to develop independence and decision-making skills. For instance, I encouraged him to take on small tasks, such as choosing his outfits or making his breakfast. When our preteen was able to make decisions and take control of small tasks, it helped him gain confidence and be more self-assured.

Another strategy that worked well for me was to help my child face their fears. I found that when my preteen was scared of something, such as public speaking, going to a new school, or making new friends, we would brainstorm ways to build confidence and then practice these things. This helped my preteen feel more prepared and confident when facing these situations.

I also tried to help my preteen focus on the present rather than worrying about the future or obsessing over past events. We did this by practicing mindfulness and encouraging our preteen to live in the moment. This simple mindfulness exercise helped my child relax and stay calm, which helped them develop resilience to cope with difficult situations.

Lastly, I encouraged my preteen to develop healthy coping strategies, such as journaling, meditation, or talking to us or other trusted adults when they encountered challenging situations. This helped build resilience and self-confidence as our preteen learned how to bounce back after tough times.

I hope you have found these tips helpful, and I wish you all the best in your parenting journey.



I have a child who struggled with self-confidence and resilience as well. One strategy that helped me was modeling positive behavior. I realized how important it was to be a positive role model for my child, so I started practicing positive thinking and behavior myself. For instance, when things didn't go as planned, I would try to stay optimistic and choose to see the positive side of things.

Secondly, I found that positive reinforcement, such as offering praise or rewards, helped build my child's self-confidence. Whenever my child accomplished something, we celebrated it and reminded them how proud we were of them. Over time, this encouraged our child to strive for more and take on bigger challenges.

Another thing I found helpful was helping my child focus on their strengths and talents. Instead of focusing on any perceived weaknesses or failures, we tried to emphasize what our child was good at and built on those strengths. We even encouraged our child to pursue activities in areas where they excelled, such as joining a science club or participating in sports events.

Finally, I made sure I was always available for my child, to listen when they wanted to speak, and offer supportive advice when needed. I encouraged them to express themselves openly and honestly so they could develop coping strategies of their own.

I hope these tips are helpful to you. Good luck!


Hi there,

I can relate to your situation as I have a preteen child who has struggled with confidence and resilience in the past. One thing that I found helpful was to encourage my child to try new things and take risks, even if they were scared or unsure of the outcome. By doing this, my child learned that failure is a natural part of growth and that success is not always guaranteed, but it's essential to keep trying.

Another approach that worked well for us was to focus on small wins and celebrate them. Celebrating small successes helps build up self-esteem and gives kids the confidence to take on more significant challenges. Furthermore, I found it helpful to provide my child with positive feedback regularly. For instance, when my child achieved something, I would praise them not just for the outcome but for the effort and dedication they put into it.

Finally, I also found it helpful to involve my child in activities that promote resilience, such as sports, martial arts, or music lessons. These activities can help kids develop skills such as discipline, focus, and perseverance, which can translate into all areas of their life.

I hope you find these tips helpful! Good luck on your parenting journey!

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