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Q:

How can I handle feelings of guilt or inadequacy when I am not able to meet all of my child's needs while also managing my own responsibilities as a working or student parent?

Hey everyone,

I'm a working mom of two young children and have been feeling really overwhelmed lately. With work, household chores, and taking care of my kids, I feel like I'm constantly running on empty. Sometimes I feel like I'm not able to meet all of their needs, and it's starting to make me feel guilty and inadequate as a parent.

I know that I'm not alone in feeling this way, so I wanted to reach out and see how others have managed to cope with similar feelings. How do you handle the guilt and inadequacy that comes with not being able to do everything for your children while also taking care of yourself and your own responsibilities? Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated!

All Replies

rosie.davis

Hello there,

As a full-time working dad of three, I can totally understand your struggles. Managing work, household chores, and taking care of kids can be daunting, and it is natural for parents to feel guilty when they can't make time for everything.

One approach that has helped me is to set realistic expectations and ensure I am present during the time I have with my kids. I focus on quality over quantity, and this has helped me create a strong bond with my children. Instead of beating yourself down for not doing everything, try setting small goals and celebrate your achievements.

Another technique that has worked for me is to get organized. Keeping a schedule for work, household chores, and other tasks helps me manage my time better. I dedicate specific hours to work and ensure that I am available for my kids during my off-hours. It helps me prioritize tasks, reduce stress and ensure that I am satisfying my responsibilities towards work and family.

It's also important to create specific boundaries with work. Communicating your working hours and family responsibilities with your work team can help create an understanding work culture. Consequently, you can schedule conference meetings or essential team members during the hours that work for you and plan accordingly.

Lastly, don't underestimate the power of communication. Talk with your partner and children and make them understand your work commitments and challenges. Listening to their concerns and struggles and finding common solutions can help ease off the pressures.

In conclusion, parenting is not just about how much time you spend with your kids; it's about the moments you create and cherish. So, try not to feel guilty, stay positive, and make every moment count.

yasmin59

Hi there!

I can completely understand where you're coming from as a father of two young kids, with a demanding job. It's easy to fall into a trap of feeling guilty about not being there for your child or not meeting their needs.

One approach that has helped me is to focus on the moments of quality time spent with my kids. This could be something as simple as reading a bedtime story, playing a game or even a quick conversation over breakfast. These little moments matter and can help keep you connected with your child.

It's also essential to remember that we are all human and can't be perfect all the time. Don't beat yourself down if you miss or forget something once in a while, instead try to make it up to your child, and explain that Daddy or Mommy had to work.

Another approach that has helped me is to find ways to involve my children in my daily tasks. Whether that be simple tasks like cooking or even cleaning together, it can be a great way to bond with your child, while maintaining a realistic work-life balance.

Lastly, don't forget to communicate with your partner about your struggles as a working parent. They are in this journey with you, and working together to find a way forward is key to managing the feelings of guilt and inadequacy.

Remember, you're doing great! Keep going, stay positive, and find a way that works for you!

leo.ortiz

Hello everyone,

As a single working mom, I completely relate to your struggles of feeling guilty and inadequate as a parent. It can be challenging to juggle both work and parenting responsibilities while meeting their needs.

One approach I've found useful is to avoid comparing my parenting to others. Every parent's circumstances are different, so what works for others may not be feasible for me. Instead, I try to focus on my strengths as a parent and work on improving where I'm lacking.

Another thing that helps me is to have a network of support. I lean on family, friends, or even other parents for support when I need help with childcare or just a listening ear to vent my feelings. It's also helpful to connect with like-minded people in parenting groups or online communities to share ideas and support one another.

It's also crucial to prioritize self-care and find small pockets of time to do things that make me happy. Even taking a few minutes of yoga, meditation, or journaling can help me de-stress and rejuvenate, so that I can be a better parent.

Lastly, It's essential to involve our children in our daily schedule and seek help from them. For example, cleaning up together or preparing groceries, making things fun and light can bring you closer to your child while still carrying on with your daily chores.

Remember, all parents have their ups and downs, and that's okay. The fact that you're trying your best is what matters the most. So, take it one day at a time, focus on what's feasible and keep pressing on!

murphy.marlon

Hi there!

I completely sympathize with your situation. As a full-time working mom of a toddler, I know how difficult it can be to juggle the demands of work and family. There are times when I feel like I am not giving my child the attention she needs and I can't help but feel guilty.

One technique that has helped me is creating quality time with my daughter in the mornings and evenings. We eat breakfast and dinner together, and I always make sure to have conversations with her about her day and what she is interested in. This way, I can still connect with her even if I am working full time during the day.

I have also found it helpful to create a schedule and stick to it as much as possible. This means that I put specific tasks on my calendar and prioritize them accordingly. I also use this schedule to prioritize tasks in my personal life, so that I can create a work-life balance.

Finally, I strongly believe that it is important to take care of yourself as well. Making time for exercise or even a relaxing bubble bath can increase your energy and help you feel more refreshed, which in turn will allow you to be present for your child.

Remember that being a working parent is tough, but you are doing the best you can. Be kind to yourself and know that your child loves you regardless of how much time you spend with them.

patrick98

Hey there,

I totally understand where you're coming from. I'm a student mom of two young children and balancing school and parenting can feel like too much sometimes. It's easy to feel guilty or inadequate when we're not able to give our kids everything they need at all times.

One thing that has helped me is to remember that parenting is a team effort. Even if you're a single parent, you can still enlist the help of family or friends to take care of your children when you need a break or have other responsibilities. It's okay to ask for help and it doesn't make you any less of a parent.

Another thing that has helped is to be kind to myself and practice self-compassion. It's easy to be hard on ourselves and feel like we're not doing enough, but that's not productive or healthy. Instead, I try to focus on what I am doing well and acknowledge my efforts.

Lastly, setting boundaries with work or school can help. For example, with school, I carve out specific times during the week to study or complete assignments so that it doesn't cut into my time with my children. This allows me to be present with them when it matters most.

Hang in there and remember that you're doing the best you can - and that's enough!

nkohler

Hello all,

As a new working mom, I am experiencing something similar. Trying to balance a career and a child can be overwhelming, and there are times when I feel like I'm not doing enough, and I get that feeling of guilt.

One approach that has been helpful for me is to create a schedule and stick to it, as much as possible. This means that I prioritize my time and ensure that I am dedicating enough time to my child while fulfilling my work responsibilities. Ensuring that I work during my child's nap time, or at night when they are sleeping has helped me maximize my time.

Another thing that has worked for me is to have empathy toward myself. Being a new parent, adjusting to work, and dealing with life changes can be challenging. It's okay to feel overwhelmed, anxious or guilty, and it takes time to get used to the new routine. Practicing self-compassion has helped me ease off on those negative feelings.

I have also learned that involving my child in some daily activities, like cooking or playing, can be an excellent way to connect and bond with my child. Even if we spend a little amount of time, we are creating quality moments that matter to both of us.

Finally, seeking support is essential. Talk with a counselor, friend or mentor who can help you navigate your feelings and offer guidance. It is equally important to build a support system with other working moms who are going through the same phase. These connections can make navigating the journey easier and more enjoyable.

Remember, taking care of yourself and your child is a beautiful journey, and being present in the moment is what counts. Happy parenting everybody!

colton57

Hey there,

I can definitely relate to how you're feeling. As a working mom of three, it can be tough to balance everything and still feel like you're doing enough for your kids. One thing that has helped me is to prioritize and set realistic expectations for myself. I make a list of the tasks that need to be done each day and focus on the most important ones first, rather than trying to do everything at once.

It's also important to remember that we can't do everything all the time, and that's okay. Our kids will still love us even if we can't always meet their every need. I try to focus on spending quality time with my kids when I can, even if it's just for a few minutes each day.

Finally, don't forget to take care of yourself! It's easy to get caught up in taking care of everyone else and neglect our own needs. Make sure to take some time each day to do something that brings you joy, even if it's just for a few minutes. This will help you recharge and be better able to take care of your kids.

Hang in there! You're doing the best you can, and that's all you can ask of yourself.

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