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How can I encourage my baby to self-soothe and fall asleep independently?

Hi everyone,

I am a new mom struggling to get my baby to fall asleep independently. My little one has gotten used to being rocked or fed to sleep, and as a result, wakes up multiple times during the night looking for the same comfort. I am exhausted and feeling like a failure as a parent.

I have been reading about the importance of self-soothing and want to encourage my baby to learn this skill. What are some techniques or tips that you have used to help your baby self-soothe and fall asleep on their own? I am open to all suggestions and would love to hear about your experiences. Thank you in advance for your help!

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Hi there,

I completely understand how you feel. I had the same problem with my baby a few months back. For us, the key was consistency. We started by establishing a bedtime routine and sticking to it every night. This included a warm bath, followed by a short massage, and then some quiet time with a book, lullaby or story. This routine helped her associate these activities with sleep time.

After the routine, I would put her down in her crib while she was drowsy but still awake, and then leave the room. Initially, she would cry for a bit but we followed a gradual extinction method where we would wait a few minutes before going in to reassure her that we were there, and gradually increased the time period before going back in.

It was hard listening to her cry, but eventually, she learned to calm herself and fall asleep without our intervention. Now, she wakes up less during the night and can fall asleep on her own. I hope this helps and best of luck to you!


Hi there,

I completely understand how you feel. When my baby was around six months old, we started introducing a lovey, which helped her transition from being reliant on us to fall asleep. It was comforting for her to have something soft and familiar to hold on to, and it gradually helped her fall asleep on her own.

We made it a part of our bedtime routine, and every night before bedtime, we would give her the lovey and let her hold it. This made her feel more comfortable, and she would gradually fall asleep with it in her hands.

It took some time for her to get familiar with the routine, but eventually, it worked like a charm, and she now associates the lovey with sleep time. It's essential to choose a comfortable and safe object as a lovey, something that your baby can hold and interact with while sleeping.

Remember, every baby is different, and it can take time to find out what works for them. So keep experimenting and stay positive. Before long, you will have a baby who can fall asleep independently.

Good luck!


Hey there,

I can completely relate to what you are going through. When my daughter was younger, I was struggling with the same issues. What worked for us was the "pick up, put down" method. This involved picking my baby up and soothing her whenever she cried or fussed and then put her back to sleep in her crib immediately.

Initially, it was difficult to get her to settle back in her crib, but after a few nights, she started to get the hang of it. We continued this practice for a few weeks, and then started the gradual retreat method, where we reduced the time we spent picking her up and soothing her.

Over time, my baby learned to sleep on her own, and she now sleeps for more extended periods at night. Remember that every baby is different, and what works for one may not work for the other. So, try different techniques until you find what works best for you and your baby.

Good luck!



As a new mom, I completely understand how tough it can be getting your baby to fall asleep independently. When faced with a similar situation, we tried something called "camping out." This involved sitting next to our baby's crib rather than holding or picking them up every time they cried.

We would sit there quietly, and after some time, we noticed that our baby would eventually stop crying and fall back to sleep on her own. It took some time, but eventually, she got more familiar with the concept that crying did not necessarily mean picking up and started self-soothing herself.

While this method was hard work, it worked for us, and we can now put our daughter down in the crib awake and she falls asleep independently. So it may take time, try different approaches, be patient, and eventually, your baby will learn to sleep independently.

Good luck!

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