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How can I discipline my child in a way that takes into account their individual personality and temperament?

Hi everyone,

I'm a mother of two children, a three-year-old boy and a five-year-old girl, and I'm having a really hard time disciplining them. I feel like sometimes I'm too strict and other times not strict enough, and I'm not sure how to strike a balance. But what really concerns me is that I want to discipline them in a way that takes into account their individual personality and temperament.

My son is very active and loves to explore, but he can also be quite impulsive and doesn't like being told what to do. My daughter, on the other hand, is more reserved and sensitive, and she responds better to praise and recognition. When I try to discipline them in the same way, it just doesn't seem to work.

I want to be able to understand their individual needs and personalities so that I can discipline them effectively without damaging their self-esteem or making them feel like they're not understood. Any advice or tips on how to do this would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you in advance.

All Replies


Hello everyone,

Parenting is no easy task, and disciplining children can be a challenging one. I have two children, twins - a boy and a girl, who are six years old. Understanding my children's personalities and effectively disciplining them has been one of the most important lessons I've learned as a parent.

I found that establishing consistent routines for them, taking into account their personalities, is one of the best ways to instill good behavior. For example, if my son has too much screen time, he tends to be less calm when it's time to stop. So, I limit his screen time and put in place calming activities that allow him to expend his energy. For my daughter, who is an introvert, I carve out time for her to recharge by engaging in quiet, solitary hobbies, such as puzzles and books.

Another method that I found to be useful is redirection. When my children are misbehaving, I try to redirect their attention to something more positive. For instance, instead of telling them to stop screaming, I ask them to take a deep breath and talk it out in a calmer tone.

In conclusion, the most important thing when it comes to disciplining children is to understand that each child is different and tailor our disciplinary strategies accordingly. With patience, consistency, empathy, and understanding, we can discipline our children effectively, instilling positive values in them while maintaining their individual personalities.


Hi there,

I completely understand where you're coming from. I, too, struggled with finding the right disciplinary balance when it came to my two children who are five and seven years old. Since every child has his or her own unique personality, it's important to discipline them accordingly to ensure they learn and improve without feeling hurt.

What I found to be helpful was observing their behavior and temperament and then deciding on the appropriate discipline. For instance, with my younger child, I've discovered that she's very sensitive to scolding, so I try to avoid raising my voice and opting for a softer approach instead that includes more examples of what she did right than wrong. On the other hand, my older child is quite stubborn and wants things his way, so he responds better to clear instructions and consequences.

In conclusion, getting to know your children's unique temperaments and personalities takes time, but the reward is very much worth it. Your children will know you care and want to help them learn in a way that not only improves behavior but also maintains their dignity and self-love. Just keep experimenting with different disciplinary approaches until you find one that works for them.

Hope this helps!


Hey everyone,

Discipline is one of the most crucial aspects of raising children responsibly. My experience as a parent has taught me that the best way to discipline a child is by using a combination of empathy, consequences, and understanding their personalities.

My children are aged four and seven. They couldn't be more different from each other. My eldest is introverted and needs verbal affirmation, while my youngest is outgoing and needs to feel seen and heard.

For my eldest, talking and listening to her are the most effective way for me to instill good behavior. I explain the reason behind our rules and help her understand why they're important. My youngest, on the other hand, is motivated by rewards, so I use a reward chart to incentivize positive behavior.

However, there are times when neither method works for either of them. What I've learned is that consequences must be enforced when rules are violated. For instance, if any of my children hurt the other, like using physical aggression, then that warrants consequence.

In conclusion, there's no one way to discipline a child that fits all. As parents and guardians, we need to understand and appreciate our children's personalities so we can discipline with empathy and reason. That then leads to a harmonious, respectful relationship with our children.


Hey there,

I understand how challenging it can be to discipline children while factoring in their temperaments and personalities. I have two daughters who are three and five years of age, and they're completely different in terms of personality. My three-year-old is introverted, while my five-year-old daughter is a complete extrovert.

What works for me is employing a different strategy, depending on their differing personalities. For my introverted daughter, I try to remain calm and explain why her behavior is not acceptable. I make sure I communicate my message without raising my voice, and I give her plenty of time and space to process the punishment.

For my extroverted daughter, though, I'm more straight forward when delivering consequences. She tends to be more responsive to punishment when raised in an enthusiastic manner. I make sure to quickly move on with activities and tasks once the punishment is delivered, so she doesn't linger on the punishment.

In conclusion, the key is to know your children intimately and devise different discipline tactics for each of them, considering their unique strengths and weaknesses. What works for one, might not necessarily work for the other, so you might have to apply different strategies for each of them.

Good luck!



As a father of two daughters, aged nine and six, I know that disciplining children can differ from one child to another, so it's essential to observe and adapt accordingly. My eldest child is very talkative, sensitive, and always eager to impress, whereas my younger daughter is independent, confident, and resistant to directions at times.

With my first child, I find that explaining the consequences of her actions and how it affects others, instead of admonition or stern reprimand, helps her understand the importance of good behavior. For instance, if she doesn't finish her homework, I would explain the consequences of this - she'll fail her tests and jeopardize her grades. After that, I would tell her it's her responsibility to complete her homework on time or her screen time privileges will be affected.

On the other hand, with my second child, rewards work better: For every good behavior or completed task, she gets positive reinforcement, such as a trip to the ice cream parlor. However, this approach means I have to keep track of these rewards.

It's essential to keep in mind that you need to tailor your approach to their individuality and not assume a 'one-size-fits-all' method of discipline. So, being observant and acknowledging what works for your child is the key to a healthy discipline approach.

I hope this helps!


Hi everyone,

As a mother of three boys, I understand how difficult it can be to discipline children in a way that considers their unique personalities and temperaments. My first-born son was always more compliant and sensitive, whereas my younger sons are much more energetic and impulsive.

One of the essential things I've learned in disciplining my children is that communication is key. No matter how much energy and time you spend developing unique discipline strategies, it will only be effective if it gets through to their hearts. In this case, understanding and communication are essential, as it provides a medium to express needs, wants, and expectations.

It's crucial to develop a relationship with your children that values communication, trust, and respect so that when you do deliver discipline, it's from a place of love rather than fear. The method of discipline you use does not matter as much as your message, the delivery will be more effective when there is a supportive relationship in place.

In conclusion, respecting your children's individual personalities and temperaments when considering disciplinary action is necessary. Nevertheless, building a foundation of trust and open communication is vital for discipline to be effective in the long run.


Hi everyone,

Raising children and disciplining them can be challenging, especially when it comes to personalizing the discipline to align with their unique personalities. I'm a mother of three kids, aged 8, 5, and 2. My eldest son is very stubborn, my second is sensitive, and my youngest is fearless.

My approach to disciplining them involves consistency, clear communication, and understanding their individual needs. I've found that my eldest son responds better to a more strict and direct approach, but my other two children do not like it when I raise my voice, so I opt for a kinder approach.

Another strategy that I find effective is redirecting my children whenever they are misbehaving. For instance, when my daughter is sensitive and cries over spilled milk, I would shift her focus to how she can help clean up the mess because that distracts her from her emotional state.

Lastly, I try to maintain open and honest communication with my children, ensuring they understand why certain behavior is not appropriate because it may not always be obvious to them. When they know the reason, they are more likely to behave better on their own accord.

In conclusion, disciplining children effectively is about realizing that no two children are the same, and adapting our approach with each child's personality is essential. By observing our children's behaviors and tailoring our strategies to fit their personalities, we can instill positive behavior in them, which will shape their future.

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