Loading Kindness - Spinning Up Mommy Magic

While the Love Loads, Our Spinner Spins. Get Ready to Share, Support, and Bond with Like-minded Moms!

Popular Searches:

How can I discipline my child in a way that promotes self-discipline and self-regulation?

Hi everyone,

I am a parent of a 6-year-old and have been struggling with finding an effective way to discipline my child that not only corrects their behavior but also promotes self-discipline and self-regulation. Traditional methods of discipline such as spanking, yelling or time-outs have not been effective and I feel like I am not teaching my child how to make better choices.

I want to find a way to discipline my child that will help them understand the impact of their actions on themselves and others, but also encourage them to learn how to manage their own behavior in the future. Any suggestions or strategies that have worked for other parents would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

All Replies



As a divorcee with two young children, finding an effective way to discipline my children has been challenging. Through my experiences, I have found that consistency is critical when promoting self-discipline and self-regulation in children.

My ex-partner and I have come up with a set of consistent rules and consequences, so the children's routine stays consistent between both homes. It helps children understand the stability and expectation of behaviour remains constant regardless of their location.

Moreover, creating a routine for the children has also helped. The children know that bedtime is at 8 pm, screen time ends at 7 pm, and they have specific chores they must complete before playing. Through creating a structure that provides predictability, children feel secure and understand what's expected. Thus, they can regulate their emotions and impulses.

It is important to remember that each family dynamic is different, and it may take some trial and error to create a system that works. However, through my experiences, consistency and routine have been an effective means to promote self-discipline and self-regulation.

Best of luck to those on this disciplinary journey!



As a fellow parent trying to find new ways to promote self-discipline and self-regulation for my 4-year-old, I have found that a rewards system works really well. I created a chart with achievable goals, such as completing their chores or using good manners, and when they achieve them, they are rewarded with a sticker. After a certain number of stickers, they receive a small present or special activity.

Through using this method, I have noticed a positive change in my child's behavior as they begin to understand the positive impact of good behavior. It shows them that they can make their own choices and they feel good when their hard work is noticed and rewarded.

Another tip I have found helpful is to provide constant positive reinforcement. I praise and acknowledge them when they use appropriate behavior, even in small things like sharing their toys.

Overall, finding a balance of positive reinforcements, clear communication, and natural consequences can promote self-discipline and self-regulation in children. It takes patience and time, but the end goal is worth it.

Hope this helps!


Hello all,

As a parent of a 12-year-old boy, I have found that involving the child in the discipline process is an excellent way to promote self-discipline and self-regulation. Giving them a sense of control and responsibility works wonders for their behavior.

I have found that being open and honest with them about their actions and allowing them to come up with solutions helps them understand the consequences of their actions. It helps foster accountability and strengthens their problem-solving skills.

As a family, we have created a set of rules together and those rules have consequences for breaking them. This approach has shown the kids that the family's rules are for everyone, including the parents. It shows them that no one is above the rules which help them realize the value of discipline and self-regulation.

In conclusion, promoting self-discipline and self-regulation in children can be challenging, but it is essential to their future success. Finding a method that works for the child can take time, but the payoff is worth it in the long run.

All the best!


Hello everyone,

As a mother of two teens, I have found that setting clear expectations and boundaries has been crucial in promoting self-discipline and self-regulation. Teenagers are at a stage in their lives where they are seeking independence and control, so giving them a sense of responsibility is essential.

One approach I have taken is to establish a set of clear rules and consequences. We decided to limit the screen time to 2 hours a day, and the kids understand the consequences of exceeding that limit. They are responsible for managing their own time, and if they break the rules, they accept the consequences.

Another effective method I have used is positive feedback. Recognizing their good choices and behaviour helps them build positive self-esteem and encourages them to continue with their positive behaviour.

Lastly, modelling appropriate behaviour is essential. Children learn from parents' behaviours, so it's important to provide a good example.

These tactics have helped promote self-discipline and self-regulation in my teens, and I hope it can be helpful for other parents.

Best of luck!


Hi there,

As a parent of a 9-year-old, I completely understand your concerns. Traditional methods of disciplining children often lead to temporary compliance, but they don't actually teach them self-discipline and self-regulation.

What has worked for me is using positive reinforcement and natural consequences. For example, if my child forgets to complete their homework, I let them face the consequences of their actions by receiving a lower grade rather than punishing them with time-outs or taking away their privilege.

Moreover, I try to communicate with my child and give them the opportunity to express their thoughts and feelings. It helps them understand how their behavior affects others and encourages them to adopt appropriate behaviors.

It is always good to remember that every child is different, so it's crucial to figure out what works for your child. Remember to be patient, consistent, and lead by example, and your child will understand what's expected of them while developing self-discipline and self-regulation.

Hope this helps!



As a parent of a child with sensory processing disorder, I have found that creating a sensory-friendly environment helps to promote self-discipline and self-regulation.

For instance, I have created a cozy corner with pillows, blankets, and soft lighting for my child. Whenever they feel overwhelmed or overstimulated, they can retreat to that space to calm down and regulate their emotions.

Additionally, I have found that providing my child with sensory input through various activities, such as jumping on a trampoline or manipulating putty, has helped them to regulate their senses and manage their behavior better.

It is crucial to understand that children with sensory processing disorders may require extra support, structure, and patience in the discipline process. As parents, educating ourselves and seeking support from professionals can be helpful to create a positive and supportive environment for our children.

In conclusion, creating an environment that supports sensory regulation and providing sensory-friendly activities can be helpful when promoting self-discipline and self-regulation in children with sensory processing disorders.


Hello everyone,

As a special education teacher, I often work with children who struggle with self-discipline and self-regulation. One approach I have found effective is using positive reinforcement to support and encourage their positive behaviour.

For instance, I give a child praise or tangible rewards when they demonstrate positive behaviour such as working well in class or completing tasks on time. Praising good behaviour helps the child feel good about themselves, reinforces their positive behaviour, and encourages them to continue being well-behaved.

Additionally, I have seen success with modeling the behaviour we want our children to exhibit. Teachers and parents must model positive self-discipline and regulation in their lives- from arriving at work or school on time, managing stress, to following through with commitments.

Finally, teaching children self-talk can help. Encouraging children to talk to themselves kindly and motivate themselves through difficult situations or emotions can have powerful outcomes, such as reducing anxiety or promoting self-confidence.

Overall, positive reinforcement, modelling behaviour and self-talk are invaluable tools for helping children increase self-discipline and self-regulation. These tools help children develop and strengthen their positive behaviour management skills, leading to lasting change and success.



As a parent of a child with ADHD, I have found that using a combination of positive reinforcement and clear expectations is effective when promoting self-discipline and self-regulation.

For example, creating a structured routine and using visual schedules with pictures has been helpful. This helps my child know what is expected from them and when it is expected, which helps him maintain focus and self-regulate.

In addition, giving positive feedback and tangible rewards for positive behaviour reinforces good behaviour and provides motivation for them to continue their behaviour. For instance, I give my child a small treat or extra screen time when they complete tasks without any prompts.

It is important to understand that supporting children who have challenges with discipline and regulation may require more effort and patience. As parents, we should strive to educate ourselves and seek advice from professionals to ensure we are equipped with strategies to help our children refrain from negative behaviour.

Overall, finding the right balance between expectations, encouragement, and positive reinforcement is key to promoting self-discipline and self-regulation in children, especially those who have unique challenges.

New to Kind Mommy Community?

Join the community