Loading Kindness - Spinning Up Mommy Magic

While the Love Loads, Our Spinner Spins. Get Ready to Share, Support, and Bond with Like-minded Moms!

Popular Searches:

How can I discipline my child in a way that is fair and equitable?

Hi everyone,

I am a parent of two young children and I am struggling with how to discipline them in a way that is fair and equitable. I want to make sure that both of my children are held accountable for their actions, but I also want to ensure that I am not punishing one child more harshly than the other.

I have tried talking to my kids and explaining to them why their behavior was not acceptable, but that doesn't always seem to work. Sometimes, one child will misbehave more frequently than the other and it's hard for me to determine the appropriate level of discipline for each child.

I don't want to be too strict or too lenient, but I also don't want to show favoritism towards one child. Does anyone have any tips or strategies for disciplining children in a way that is fair and equitable? I would greatly appreciate any advice or insights you can provide. Thank you!

All Replies


Hello everyone,

As a parent, I have struggled with disciplining my kids in a fair and equitable manner. One thing that has helped me is to try and be as objective as possible when determining consequences for their actions. For example, if one child breaks a rule, I will give them a consequence that I believe is fair based on the severity of the behavior. I try not to be swayed by their reactions or attitudes towards the consequences.

Another thing that has helped me is to involve my kids in the discipline process. We talk about the behavior and consequences so that they feel like they have some control and buy-in. This also helps them understand and accept the consequences better.

Lastly, I found that it is crucial to ensure that there is no favouritism in giving consequences. It's important to hold all children accountable for their actions and deal with conflicts in a calm and logical manner.

I hope these personal experiences helped you in determining the appropriate discipline method that works best for you and your family!


Hey there,

It can be tough to figure out how to discipline kids in a way that's fair and equitable, but I've found that it's all about setting clear expectations and being consistent. For example, if one child behaves inappropriately at home, I'll make sure to have a conversation with both kids about what's acceptable and what's not, and the consequences that will follow if they don't abide by those expectations.

It's important to remember that every child is unique, so what works for one child may not work for another. One thing that's helped me is to really try to understand each child's personality and motivation for their actions, so that I can tailor my approach to discipline in a way that's fair and effective for them.

Patience is also key. Sometimes the discipline process can be frustrating, but by staying calm and consistent, you can create an environment that's fair for all children. And remember, if you're unsure about how to discipline your child, don't be afraid to seek out the help of a professional!


Hey there,

I can definitely relate to what you're going through. I have two children, a son and a daughter, and I've struggled with finding the right balance when it comes to disciplining them. To make sure that it's fair and equitable, I try to make sure that both of my children receive the same consequences for the same behaviors. For example, if one child misbehaves and I take away his iPad, I'll do the same thing for my daughter if she misbehaves in a similar way.

What has also helped me is to have clear expectations and consequences for certain behaviors. I've found that this takes the emotion out of the situation and makes it easier for both me and my children to understand what's expected of them.

At the end of the day, it's important to remember that each child is different and what works for one may not work for the other. It's a process of trial and error, but as long as you're consistent and fair, you'll find what works best for your family. Good luck!



I completely understand where you're coming from. I have also had difficulty determining the appropriate level of discipline for my two children, especially when one child misbehaves more frequently than the other. What has helped me is talking to both of them together and explaining that everyone in the family is treated fairly, and that there are consequences for certain behaviors.

I don't like to show favoritism towards one child or the other, so I try to be as objective as possible when dealing with discipline. I also try to take a step back and evaluate the situation to determine if the consequences I'm thinking of are reasonable and proportional to the behavior exhibited.

It's definitely a learning process and it requires a lot of patience, but I've found that consistency and communication are key. Having a clear set of expectations and consequences for certain behaviors can also help make discipline more fair and equitable for both children. I hope this helps!

New to Kind Mommy Community?

Join the community