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Q:

How can I discipline my child in a way that doesn't damage our relationship?

Hi everyone,

I am a parent of a 7-year-old child and I am facing a bit of a dilemma when it comes to disciplining my child. I want to make sure that my child understands right from wrong, and that they have consequences for their actions, but I am also worried about damaging our relationship in the process.

I have seen some parents who yell and scream at their children, and I feel like this is not the best way to handle things. I know that I can't be permissive and just let my child do whatever they want, but I also don't want them to feel like I am constantly riding them.

So my question is, how can I discipline my child in a way that doesn't damage our relationship? What are some strategies you have used successfully in your own parenting? I would love to hear your thoughts!

All Replies

alaina.dooley

Hi there,

As a parent, I have learned that it's critical to pick my battles carefully when it comes to disciplining my child. I feel that it's important to determine which behaviors are crucial and work on changing those first, instead of trying to perfect every aspect of my child's behavior.

Another effective strategy that has worked well for me is to try and understand my child's perspective. Sometimes, my child might act out because they are struggling to cope with their emotions, and a frank and open conversation helps me to address the issue at its root.

At times, I've also found it helpful to encourage my child's good behavior instead of worrying too much about their bad behaviors. Rewarding good behavior reinforces good habits and encourages children to repeat them. It's important to be consistent with this approach, so that your child comes to expect praise and validation for positive behaviors.

Finally, I believe it's essential for parents to lead by example in terms of their behavior. When my child sees me setting a good example, they will tend to do the same with their own behavior.

To sum up, keeping focused on key behaviors, understanding and addressing emotions, rewarding good behavior, and being a good role model are some effective strategies I've found that has helped me discipline my child without damaging our relationship.

vmckenzie

Hi there,

As a parent myself, I can certainly understand your dilemma. I have found that the key to disciplining children is to strike a balance between setting boundaries and remaining approachable.

One thing that has worked well for me is to explain why a particular behavior is not acceptable, and what the consequences will be if it continues. This way, my child understands that there are reasons behind the rules and they are more likely to cooperate. I try to be firm but not overly harsh, using a calm and measured tone of voice.

Another approach that has been helpful is to make sure that I always praise my child when they do something positive. This reinforces good behavior and encourages them to make good choices. I also try to involve my child in decision-making as much as possible, allowing them to have a say in certain household rules or activities. This helps to build trust and mutual respect.

Lastly, it's important to take a step back and assess the bigger picture. Sometimes behavior can be a symptom of deeper issues, such as anxiety or stress. In these cases, it may be more helpful to seek professional assistance rather than simply punishing the child.

I hope you find these strategies helpful in maintaining a strong and positive relationship with your child while also providing consistent discipline. Good luck!

gwendolyn.frami

Hi everyone,

What has worked for me in terms of disciplining my child is to try and avoid punishing them altogether. Instead, I try to focus on teaching them about natural consequences and encouraging them to take responsibility for their own actions.

For example, instead of punishing my child for breaking something, I might ask them how they can make amends for it, and help them come up with a plan to do so. This approach allows my child to learn from their mistake and make amends for any damage or hurt they've caused, while also avoiding the harm to our relationship that can come from punishment.

Another strategy that I have found helpful is to communicate with my child and listen to their perspective. By doing so, we can form a more mutual understanding of each other's expectations, and work together to find solutions that work for all involved.

It's also important to remain mindful that discipline is not just about correcting bad behavior, but also about helping our children develop the skills and emotional intelligence they need to become responsible, caring individuals.

In summary, by focusing on natural consequences, promoting responsibility and mutual understanding, and looking at discipline as an opportunity to teach rather than simply punish, I have been able to discipline my child in a way that doesn't damage our relationship.

qhauck

Hello,

I am a parent of two kids and I have found that the key to disciplining your child is to first and foremost establish a positive relationship with your child. This means spending quality time with your child, showing interest in what they like, and giving them plenty of love and attention.

When it comes to discipline, I believe that every parent has to use a different approach based on what works best for them and their children. For me, I have found that using logical consequences when my child misbehaves works well. This could mean taking away a privilege such as screen time, or having them do extra chores around the house until they have rectified any damage their actions caused. However, it's important to avoid punishing your child when you're feeling angry or frustrated.

I make sure to explain why my child's behaviour is unacceptable and what we expect of them in the future. By explaining our expectations clearly and calmly, we can empower children to make better choices about their behaviour without damaging the relationship.

Overall, the best way to discipline your child without damaging your relationship is to be consistent in your approach, communicate with your child, and show them love and respect. Every child is different, so no one approach to discipline will work for everyone. However, these principles are a good starting point.

loraine.muller

Hey everyone,

Let me add to this discussion by sharing my experience when it comes to disciplining a child in a positive manner. Whenever my child misbehaves, I try not to be harsh, instead, I calmly explain how their behavior has consequences that affect them and the people around them.

One of the things that have worked for me is to encourage my child to think about alternative solutions for their behavior. I've found that this helps my child understand that their actions have consequences beyond themselves and shift their internal monologue from one where they feel like their parents are being arbitrary to one where they are learning from their mistakes.

Additionally, whenever my child does something that deserves positive reinforcement, I acknowledge it and praise them in front of others. I feel like positive reinforcement works very well because children thrive on praise, and when they’re informed about their positive behavior, they will be more inclined to repeat it in the future.

Ultimately, when trying to discipline a child, it's all about striking a balance between setting expectations and being responsive to how your child sees the world. That way, you work together to develop existing skills and cultivate new ones, all while maintaining a positive relationship.

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