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Q:

How can I balance my own needs and desires with those of my child as a single parent?

Hello everyone,

As a single parent, I find myself struggling to balance my own needs and desires with those of my child. I want to make sure that I am happy and fulfilled as an individual, but I also want to prioritize my child's needs and ensure that they are getting the attention and care they need.

I work a full-time job and often feel guilty about not spending enough quality time with my child. At the same time, I also want to pursue my hobbies and interests, which can be difficult to do with such limited time.

I would love to hear from other single parents who have found a way to strike a balance between their own needs and those of their child. How do you manage your time and prioritize your responsibilities? Are there any strategies or techniques that have worked well for you? Any advice or insights would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

All Replies

fannie00

Hello everyone,

As a single parent to two toddlers, balancing my needs and my children's needs can be challenging. However, through trial and error, I have discovered some strategies that work for me.

Firstly, I have learned to ask for help when I need it. Despite the societal pressure to handle everything alone, it's okay to ask for help, whether from friends, family, or support groups. Sometimes, the best way to balance your life is to delegate some duties, like babysitting or grocery shopping, to someone else.

Secondly, creating a schedule that includes both my children's and my personal activities has helped me balance personal and parental responsibilities. This way, I can organize myself better and manage my time efficiently. As a result, I have more time to spend with my children and focus on my personal projects.

Thirdly, I have learned to be flexible enough to recognize that there might be times when something urgent comes up and disrupts my daily schedule. In such moments, it's essential to be able to adapt to the situation and rearrange my schedule accordingly.

Lastly, I ensure that I don't lose sight of the bigger picture. I try not to sweat the small stuff and prioritize spending time with my kids. Regardless of how busy I am, the memories I create with them are irreplaceable and worth every second.

In conclusion, it's possible to balance your personal life as a single parent with that of your children. For me, it starts with asking for help, creating a schedule, being flexible, and prioritizing my children no matter how busy my schedule gets.

karina.kohler

Hi everyone,

Being a single parent can be overwhelming, balancing both personal needs and that of your child may feel impossible. I agree with the first two contributors who talk about routine and involving your child in your life.

For me personally, creating a balance started with accepting that it takes effort and time to juggle between my responsibilities and my personal aspirations. I had to create a sense of order in my life by establishing a routine that accommodates both my work and personal time.

Also, being realistic about the goals, instead of feeling like a superhuman, it's important to set achievable objectives. Involving my child in my goals has been instrumental in making it easier to balance. I help her with homework, and in turn, she is supportive of my personal ambitions such as when I need time to work on a personal project.

Lastly, in as much as routines and schedules are important, it's important to take note of the moments that matter. The small talks, the laughter, and memorable moments with your child. Making the most of these moments will help you feel more connected with your child and will help balance your life as a single parent.

In a nutshell, what worked for me is creating a routine, engaging my child and being realistic with setting goals, and finally taking note of the moments that matter – these strategies will help you balance your life as a single parent.

larkin.kolby

Hey,

I can relate to this situation as I went through the same when my husband passed away leaving me and my daughter alone. Creating a balance between my own needs and my daughter's was something that took me time to figure out, but it eventually worked out.

The first key to achieving this balance is to prioritize tasks. I simplified my life by focusing on tasks that really matter and letting go of the things that do not. I make sure I handle the essential things first before focusing on my personal desires.

Another thing that worked for me is establishing boundaries by having quality set aside with my daughter. This helped me to separate my personal work from the time I spent with her. I would set a time limit where I only focus on my daughter without major distractions from work or phone calls.

Involving your child in your life will help you manage time for both yourself and your child effectively. My daughter is fond of drawing, and I have been able to take breaks on my job to help her with art projects.

Finally, when the support system comes to play, it helps to have somebody to take care of my daughter on occasions when I need to take care of personal needs, such as doctor's appointments or when I need to meet up with friends.

Hope these tips help.

chet.mills

Hello,

I have walked the path of being a single parent before. It was complicated ensuring that my needs and those of my child were met without either of us feeling left out.

However, I found a way to balance my needs using the 80/20 principle. This meant that 80% of my time went into taking care of my child, and 20% went to personal needs.

It wasn't always easy, but consistently sticking to this method helped me to achieve work-life balance. The principle worked for me because it gave me the flexibility to switch between roles as a single parent and individual.

Another thing that helped me was trying new things. Ability to adapt to change and being open to new experiences saved me from the sense of monotony and loneliness that comes with being a single parent.

Whenever I did things that am not used to doing, my child and I would try out new things together, such as learning a new language, trying out different types of food, or exploring new areas outside our neighborhood.

Lastly, one thing that significantly helped me balance my personal and parenting life was being kind to myself. I learned to prioritize rest and seeking support from friends and family members on a particularly bad day, which helped to alleviate my stress level.

Overall, balancing my needs and those of my child as a single parent meant finding a way to prioritize my child's needs while still making time for myself, trying new things to avoid monotony, and being kind to myself.

littel.janis

Hi there,

I completely understand where you are coming from as a single parent. It can be a challenge to balance your own needs with those of your child. In my experience, one of the best things you can do is to establish a routine.

Having a set schedule for work, childcare, and personal time can help you manage your time more effectively and ensure that you are spending enough time with your child. I also make sure to prioritize self-care and me-time by scheduling time for hobbies or activities that I enjoy.

Another strategy that has worked for me is to involve my child in some of my interests. For example, we love to cook and bake together, which allows me to pursue my hobby while spending time with my child.

It's important to remember that you don't have to do everything alone. Lean on family and friends for support when you need it. And don't forget to communicate openly and honestly with your child about your goals and priorities. They may surprise you with their understanding and willingness to help.

I hope these tips are helpful for you!

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