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Q:

How can I address any feelings of guilt or shame that I may have as a queer parent, and ensure that I am providing a positive and supportive environment for my child?

Hi everyone,

I'm a queer parent and have been feeling a little guilty and ashamed about my sexuality and how it might affect my child. I want to ensure that my child feels loved and supported in every way, but I'm not sure how to address these feelings that I'm having.

Growing up, I didn't have any queer role models or visibility in my community, so it was challenging for me to come to terms with my sexuality. Now that I'm a parent, I want to create a positive and supportive environment for my child where they can feel free to express themselves without fear of judgment.

Has anyone else experienced similar feelings of guilt or shame as a queer parent? How did you overcome them, and what steps did you take to ensure that you were providing a positive environment for your child? Any advice or guidance would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

All Replies

ydaugherty

Hey there,

As a queer parent myself, I can totally understand where you're coming from. It can be challenging to navigate these feelings of guilt and shame when society has conditioned us to believe that queerness is something to hide or be ashamed of.

When I first came out to my family, I was met with a lot of resistance and negativity. I felt guilty for causing my loved ones pain and shame for being different from what they expected of me. Over time, however, I've come to accept that my sexuality is a part of who I am and that I shouldn't feel guilty or ashamed about it.

As for creating a positive environment for my child, I try to be as open and honest with them as possible. I answer their questions about my wife and myself (we're both women) honestly and without judgment. I also try to expose them to diverse families and identities through the media we consume together.

One thing that has helped me cope with my feelings of guilt and shame is finding a community of other queer parents. It's powerful to connect with people who share similar experiences and understand what you're going through.

It's important to remember that being queer is not something to be ashamed of. Your child will benefit from seeing you embrace your identity and create a loving and accepting environment for them to grow up in. Keep up the great work!

marvin.thaddeus

Hey there,

As a queer parent, I can completely relate to your feelings of guilt and shame. When I first came out and became a parent, I struggled with the fear of how my child would be impacted by my sexuality.

But over time, I learned that being a queer parent can actually have a positive impact on my children's development. Growing up with a queer parent can help children develop more empathy and compassion for diverse identities and experiences. And by living my truth and being proud of my identity, I'm modeling self-confidence and self-acceptance for my children.

One thing that has helped me to feel more confident in my parenting is finding a community of other LGBTQ+ families. These spaces have offered me support, advice and more importantly, they have given me the security of knowing that my family isn't alone in navigating the joys and challenges of queer parenthood.

In terms of creating a positive and supportive environment, I make sure that my children know they are loved and accepted unconditionally. I talk to them openly and honestly about my identity, answer their questions without judgement and make sure to expose them to diverse representations of gender and sexuality.

In conclusion, as queer parents, we often grapple with feelings of guilt and shame, but it's crucial we work on building our self-acceptance and surround ourselves with supportive communities. By being our authentic selves, we are teaching our children to embrace their true selves and to celebrate diversity in all its forms.

rturner

Hi there,

I'm also a queer parent and can definitely relate to your feelings of guilt and shame. I grew up in a very conservative community where being queer was not accepted or even spoken about, so it took me a long time to come to terms with my sexuality.

When I became a parent, I was initially worried about how my child would perceive me and my partner. However, I realized that the best thing I could do for my child was to be open and honest about who I am and the love that I share with my partner.

To overcome my feelings of guilt and shame, I sought out support through a local LGBTQ+ parenting group. It was so helpful to connect with other queer parents and discuss our shared experiences. I also made sure to surround myself with accepting and loving friends and family members who were supportive of my family.

In terms of creating a positive environment for my child, I make sure to talk about LGBTQ+ topics with them in an age-appropriate way. I also expose them to diverse media (books, TV shows, movies) that feature LGBTQ+ characters and families.

Overall, it's important to remember that being queer is nothing to be ashamed of, and your child will benefit from growing up in an environment where they see diverse families and identities being celebrated. Good luck on your journey, and don't hesitate to reach out for support!

thurman45

Hello,

As a queer parent myself, I completely understand the feelings of guilt or shame that can arise when raising a child in a society that can be hostile towards LGBTQ+ identities. When I first became a parent, I was worried about how my child would be affected by my sexuality and if they would face any discrimination or bullying.

It wasn't until I started connecting with other queer parents and being around more accepting communities that I realized that those feelings of guilt and shame weren't mine to carry. I learned that it's important to prioritize my own self-acceptance so that my child can grow up seeing an empowered queer role model.

In terms of creating a positive environment for my child, I make sure to check my own biases and be aware of any heteronormative assumptions that I might be making. I try to expose my child to diverse representations of gender and sexuality, including media that features queer families.

One thing that I've learned is that being open and honest with your child about your sexuality and answering their questions without shame or discomfort can help foster trust and create a loving environment for them to grow up in.

In summary, embracing my own queer identity and finding supportive communities has helped me deal with any guilt or shame that may arise when raising a child. Being open and honest with my child about my identity and exposing them to diverse representations of the LGBTQ+ community has helped create a positive environment for them to grow up in.

sstamm

Hi everyone,

As another queer parent, I can definitely empathize with the feelings of guilt and shame that come with raising a child while being outside the heteronormative default.

When I first became a parent, I was initially worried about how to raise my child in a world that can sometimes be hostile to LGBTQ+ individuals. However, as time passed, I learned the importance of creating a supportive environment for my child and setting the foundation for a loving and tolerant society.

One thing that has really helped me is seeking out and connecting with other queer parents or individuals. It allows me to discuss issues particular to being a queer parent and to share experiences and knowledge. These people have become members of my chosen family, and they've been instrumental with helping me overcome feelings of guilt and shame.

In terms of raising a child in an accepting environment, I'm open and honest about my identity with my child. I educate them on the existence of different gender identities and sexual orientations, making sure they know that the diverse range of identities is normal and acceptable.

Lastly, it's essential to surround my child with media, stories, and art to broaden their perspectives and affirm their unique identity. The media my child consumes should include a wide range of diverse stories that center and validate intersectional identity.

In conclusion, as a queer parent, it's easy to feel guilt and shame, but it's important to remember that we're teaching our children that there's nothing wrong with being different, and that we love them unconditionally. By creating a supportive environment, being authentically ourselves, and seeking guidance from other queer parents, we can help our children be confident, compassionate, and empathetic individuals.

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